


"A New Life"

by Canadian_nights



Category: Cardinal (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26128012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canadian_nights/pseuds/Canadian_nights
Summary: This will start as some emotional fluff and a look at what we should have seen in the hotel room if I had my way. It will work as a stand alone few chapters but I hope to stretch it out after that to a bit of angsty cannon action beyond that night in Toronto if it goes well.... With a more satisfactory ending than the final episode for these two!This is my first venture into this kind of writing so be gentle. I don't own the characters or the basic plot line (although I wouldn't mind a John Cardinal)
Relationships: John Cardinal & Lise Delorme, John Cardinal/Lise Delorme
Comments: 52
Kudos: 47





	1. Truths (John)

Truths  
(John)

He could feel the tension building inside him as they walked, exhausted from their hectic day, along the harshly lit hotel corridor to their respective rooms. A desperate need to tell her something of how badly he didn’t want this to be the last case they worked together or, more devastating even than that, for her to walk out of his life permanently had been bubbling under his skin for weeks, haunting his sleep. It had been two years since Catherine had died and somewhere along the way something had shifted between him and Lise. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it had happened but he had realised that every smile or laugh that escaped his lips was because of her and he had been wrestling with these scary new feelings for the last few months. Just as he had allowed himself the warm realisation that he was starting to feel alive again she had told him she was taking a job in the city and he felt as though he had been punched in his chest. It had floored him and like an idiot he had somehow told her he was happy for her. 

They had been so busy with the case that he hadn’t found the time to try and make amends for his stupidity. The closest he had got was the night he had stood with her on her doorstep, the freezing cold of the frosty air doing nothing to cool the heat he felt surging through his chest as she looked up at him. Her dark searching eyes locked his and her face flushed as her lips twitched into a smile that he couldn’t resist. He had steeled himself in that moment to kiss her and he would have if his phone hadn’t broken the silence. And then the moment was gone. Since that night he had been too much of a coward to tell her how he felt. 

And now they were here, standing inches apart, and still the only thing he could say was that he would see her in the morning.  
As she turned to her door he was sure he could see frustration in her eyes and his mind was pleading with his lips to work. 

“I uh….. I don’t want you to leave.” His words escaped in a heartfelt plea and hung in the air as his fingers gripped the cold metal handle of his own room door, afraid his legs might give way. He knew his words were inadequate but his eyes locked hers as he spoke and he hoped she could see in them everything he wanted to tell her about how much she meant to him. 

“I know” she almost whispered as a soft knowing smile graced her lips. She walked into her room still holding his gaze tightly as though it was a physical grip.

He stared after her for what felt like an eternity, afraid to take a breath, before he followed her silently, letting the door fall closed behind him shutting out the world with a thud. Then it was just the two of them. Alone in her small hotel room lit only with the warm light seeping in from the city outside. 

She broke eye contact slipping out of her thick winter coat and sliding it over the desk chair revealing a fitted black turtle neck underneath. She turned back to face him, looking up into his eyes as though she could see into his soul. She was so close he could feel her rapid breathing blow against his cheek. He could hear his heart beating in his ears his body on red alert. Suddenly this felt very intimate and he was terrified. He had been married for most of his adult life and although he had loved Catherine with all his heart the last ten years had been more of a friendship and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such a burning desire to hold another human being. He was in his fifties, at times tired and weary and yet in this moment he felt like a teenager again, giddy with excitement and nervous anticipation. 

He tried to speak but a low husky grunt was all that he could muster and he was suddenly aware that his mouth felt as dry as the desert. Swallowing hard he stared down at her and tried again. “Lise…” he murmured “I….. uhm I..” At that moment she closed the gap between them her soft lips connecting with his as his mind went blank. The sensation was overwhelming and his hands instinctively reached out to the curve of her hips, pulling her towards him so that she tucked in flush against his body. When he felt her warm tongue slide along the inside of his lower lip he let out a groan and shifted her weight in his arms so that she was pressed up against the wall for support as he deepened the kiss. His arousal grew, hearing her gasp into his warm mouth as his hardness pressed against her. He really did feel like a teenager again and it was incredible.


	2. Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is only fair to hear Lise's perspective :) A bit more tension and of course some kisses....

Kisses  
(-Lise)

She could see in his eyes everything that she had so desperately wanted for so long as he gazed at her through the darkness. She had admired this incredible strong and loyal man since the day that she had discovered the truth whilst investigating him all those years ago. Probably, if she was honest with herself, she had always found him attractive with his piercing eyes and dark hair. His greying beard and life weathered face had only made him more handsome. Josh hadn’t stood a chance against the rugged maleness of Cardinal. She had known that a long time before they finally separated, something which she had felt a lot of guilt over. More than anything though it was the connection they had as partners, the silent bond and safety she felt in his presence which was like nothing she had known in her life. That was, she had realised, why she was in love with the man stood before her. 

In the last few months she had seen a new sparkle in his eyes a few times when he held her gaze for just longer than necessary. It had given her hope that maybe he might feel more for her than just a platonic professional respect. Then on that icy winter night on her doorstep when she could have sworn he was going to kiss her those final defences around her heart had tumbled down and she was sure she wasn’t alone in her feelings. 

As she watched him struggling to find words in the darkness an overwhelming surge of love washed over her and she realised she needed to be brave for both of them. Slowly she eased towards him and reached her lips up gently brushing them against his. They felt rough and soft at the same time and when he didn’t pull away she felt her confidence grow, her heart pounding as she pressed her lips more firmly against his, opening her mouth to taste his eager tongue. His strong hands brushed against her hips and her skin was on fire. Before she could move he had pulled her against him shifting so that his hot body was pressing her into the wall his clear desire for her pressing hard against her stomach. She could do nothing to stifle a shaky gasp as a flush rushed up to her neck. 

She was very aware that he was wearing far too much and slid her cool hands underneath his thick parka pushing it over his shoulders so that it slid off him and hit the floor with a thump. The noise seemed to shake John causing him to pull back and press his forehead against hers. He was almost gasping for breath as he lifted his face back to look deeply into her eyes. Panic surged up inside her, surely he wasn’t having second thoughts now. She didn’t think that her heart could take it. He was panting hard, trying to slow his breathing enough to speak and she felt reassured that although he had stopped kissing her his warm strong fingers were still holding her firmly against him as though he was afraid to let her go. Then he spoke, his words deep and husky with lust. “Are you sure Lise?” his words came out in such a masculine growl that she didn’t think she had ever heard anything so sexy. “I don’t want you to feel we have to do this…”he sucked in a laboured breath “but if you don’t stop me now then I don’t trust myself to let you go” he almost whispered the last few words.

She smiled up at him, gently cupping his face in her hands and slowly pressed a hot open mouth kiss on his lips that left them both gasping for air. “Yes, John, Yes!! I have never been so sure of anything in my life”. That was all he needed to hear. She saw a flash of fire ignite in his eyes and then his hands were pulling at the bottom of her turtleneck gaining his eager hands access to the soft sensitive skin of her lower back, probing higher as his mouth dipped to let him carefully place tender kisses up her neck.   
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something so much Lise” he hissed his hot breath tickling her ear as his teeth nipped her ear lobe eliciting a squeak of her own, “you are so beautiful”. 

They rushed to tear off the many layers that had been so necessary to ward off the Toronto winter. The need to feel skin on skin was suddenly overwhelming. When they were both standing in just their underwear he stepped back again and she could feel his eyes full of lust run down her body making her feel suddenly self conscious. “Did I tell you how beautiful you are already Lise” a boyish grin tugging at the sides of his lips as he spoke. All traces of the weight of the world he had been carrying on his shoulders had disappeared from his face in that moment and she felt a rush of joy surge inside her. “I don’t know what I have done to deserve you Lise” he uttered stopping to place a chaste kiss to her hot swollen lips “but I’m so grateful to whatever it is”. 

A shiver ran down her spine not from cold but from the overwhelming emotion she felt. Reaching down to take his hand in hers, feeling him shake a little, she led him silently to the king bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed my take on John as a lover. There is some more fluff and smut to come I promise then not sure if I will continue on. Will see how it is received :)


	3. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the smut I hope you have been waiting for. Mainly through John's eyes as he struggles a bit with some internal self doubt that Lise is happy to help alleviate! This is how I see their first time together. I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the smut that I hope you have been waiting for and Just in time for the weekend.

Fireworks

She had pushed him down playfully onto the mattress and he felt his back let out a protestation that his brain barely acknowledged. He wasn’t as young as he used to be but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let that get in the way of anything. When he felt her lower her soft warm body down on top of him he almost came undone then and there. Her thigh brushing against his eager hardness, already straining against the constriction of his now very tight boxers, made him hiss out like a wounded animal. It was a sound he wasn’t sure he had ever made before. She began to rub against him as he lay helpless beneath her and in that moment he debated whether this was all a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time since they had started working this case that he had woken up flushed and hard dreaming of what he wanted to do to his partner. Then he felt her run her fingertips through the fine hair of his chest, catching a sensitive nipple along the way, and his mind quickly reasoned that even in his wildest fantasies he couldn’t have imagined something that felt this good. 

He strained his back muscles so that he could pull himself up off the bed allowing his face to come level with hers. His eyes struggled to focus as his gaze followed the line of her smooth neck and down the feminine curve of her breasts, firm and youthful. She was so beautiful he thought again to himself and smiled at how lucky he felt. His calloused fingers traced along the path his hungry eyes had marked, running along the light fabric of her bra, silently noting to memory the sensitive spots that caused her to tense against him or sigh wantonly into his ear. This wouldn’t be the last time he made love to her he promised himself there and then. 

His fingers, suddenly nervous, fumbled with her bra fastener and it took him a few goes to pop it open in his hands. He was sure he used to be better at that! It had been a long time for him. A horrible whisper of unwanted self-doubt danced about his brain questioning his ability to satisfy her younger supple body like he could when he was 35. A wave of anxiety rushed over him as the fear that he wouldn’t be good enough for her plagued his brain. He slowed his fingers as they traced soft circles against her shoulder blades, looking longingly into her face. 

Her sex clouded mind was alerted to the fact that he had stopped the glorious dance his fingers had been playing along her spine and her heavy eyelids opened to let her lust filled eyes look into his. She scanned her gaze across his worried expression and read his fears like they were spoken aloud. Without saying a word she lifted herself off him just enough to work his pants down his legs removing her own at the same time. Resting her wet folds against his hardness she let him feel the extent of her arousal against his skin before she whispered in his ear, “Can you not tell how much I want you John?”. Then she took him in her hand positioning him where she needed and slowly lowered herself down his length. He had never felt so hard as he savoured the feeling of her body stretching to accommodate all of him. She stopped then, looking deep into his eyes, and kissed him with all the love and passion she felt in that moment. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, both adjusting to this new wonderful sensation. The way they fit together made him feel like she was made just for him. Then she started to rock, sliding just enough against him that the friction set off fireworks in front of his eyes. A deep guttural sigh escaped him as she sped up her rhythm, hurrying him towards the cliff edge that he would soon not be able to stop himself tumbling over. “This could be embarrassing Lise” he murmured a blush flushing his face. Battling with his limbs to follow his instruction he slid his hands down her sides so that his fingers gripped her hips, slowing her enough to allow him to think. “It’s been a long time for me and you are blowing my mind.” He kissed her deeply before continuing. “Show me how I can make you cum with me” his words slurred out as she watched his face, clouded with emotion, his eyes clearly showing his inner battle to retain control. “Show me” he whispered “… and I promise next time I’ll be up to the challenge of making you cum all night”.

She felt so aroused as the sound of his words rumbled through his chest into hers as their hot damp bodies melded together. In a smooth motion she guided his trembling hand from her hip down between her folds so the rough pad of his thumb could encircle her clit. His hand certainly knew what it was doing and it wasn’t long before she was moaning against his neck, the soft prickles of his beard tickling her face. She was coming undone sliding her hips against him again as his body began to buck with each movement she made so that he could thrust deeper into her warmth. She reached her climax quickly and couldn’t stop herself shouting out his name followed by an expletive in her native French. That was enough to push him over the edge. The spasms of her tight body pulling him with her into the abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a plot idea to extend this on into some more slower burning relationship building with some angsty moments along the way that is cannon then non cannon as the ending of the show displeased me too much. Not sure if best to just leave it here though as a shorter story so would be good to know what people think/ if you are enjoying it I will continue


	4. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short filler chapter with a little angst and fluff because it wouldn't be John and Lise without it.

A horrible icy cold seeped into him as he came round from another of the peculiar nightmares in which he was wandering through the frozen tundra all alone. They had been plaguing him in recent months, a manifestation of some of the guilt and frustration he had been carrying around. It was a stark contrast to the glorious warm feelings that had been flowing through him with Lise in his arms just hours earlier. His eyes still closed he reflexively stretched an arm out searching for her warm comforting embrace. Then it dawned on him he was lying sprawled naked across the bed in which he had just had some of the most incredible sex of his life in and he was all alone. His eyes shot open wrapping the blanket around himself as the coldness of his nightmare seeped back into his body even in the warmth of the hotel room. ‘Why had she left?’. Then his mind raced in the darkness to all the reasons that she was probably regretting the last few hours.  
\--------------  
Lise had woken twenty minutes earlier precariously balanced at the edge of the mattress. Glancing over at the glow from the night clock she noted it was only 4.15 in the morning. They had left the blinds up and there was still no sign of the winter sun peaking over the horizon. Smiling she remembered the preceding hours. An unfamiliar ache in her pelvis reminding her of just how deeply he had filled her and she bit down on her lower lip inwardly shivering at the memory. He had certainly lived up to all her expectations as a lover. As she looked behind her she saw the gorgeous sight of a remarkably relaxed John stretched out like a 6’3’’ tree diagonally across the mattress. Silently laughing to herself she was grateful for the king-sized bed or she thought she might have been on the floor! The sheets where tangled about his legs, exposing his scarred and bruised muscular chest for her greedy eyes to luxuriate in. His warm arm possessively reaching across his abdomen coming to rest against her thigh. She could definitely get used to waking like this. Even if she did need to train him to stay on his side of the bed. Some of the time anyway! He looked so peaceful without any of the anxiety and inner torment that she hated seeing written in his furrowed brow all too often when he was awake.   
She had crept out donning her warm clothes silently as she went, not wanting to disrupt him when he was so settled. Closing the door carefully she sneaked out for some of the “fresh air” that she knew John hated so much.   
\--------------  
He found her on the hotel terrace and relief seeped into him as she smiled catching his gaze as he tightened his jacket against the freezing air and strode over to join her. In their usual companionable silence he figured maybe after mind blowing sex taking a drag on a cigarette was the logical step. Afterall he was feeling a bit like a character from one of those black and white Hollywood movies where the loveable rogue always lights up in bed after a night of passion. Sliding his hand over hers he sneaked her cigarette into his fingers and took a deep drag. ‘Nope’ he thought his displeasure contorting his face causing them both to burst into giggles as they jokingly bumped shoulders. He was feeling calmer because she was beside him again and at least for now things still felt the same between them. He would tackle the irrational worries he knew would come to the forefront of his brain another day. Instead he reached round pulling her into him so she tucked perfectly under his chin, ghosting a kiss to her forehead. They could deal with whatever this was tomorrow. Right now he was enjoying feeling her pressed against him too much to really care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued. I don't think the path to true happiness for these two will be able to run completely smoothly but I am a sucker for a happy ending so hang in there with me.


	5. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that follows the general plot of the show as the case reaches its conclusion. Its very angsty maybe frustratingly so but hopefully you hang in there with our favourite detective pair.

There had been no time to crawl back into bed to warm up as they separated to their respective rooms to shower. Reality forcing them both out of the happy bubble they had put around themselves for a few short hours as they rushed to get back on the road to Algonquin Bay. The drive up was in near silence, both parties assuming the other thought it better they leave what happened behind them. The tension in the car was broken only by some musings about the case as they wrestled to focus their priority on catching the killer. Stealing glances to Lise, when he trusted himself to do so, he couldn’t read what she was thinking so he had brushed the overwhelming feelings rocking his core into an internal compartment he kept for only the most confusing of emotions and thoughts. Silently he decided he would wait instead to see if Lise wanted to speak about it. She, on the other side of the now very tangible car seat divider, was trying to convince her analytical mind that settling in this moment for neither of them freaking out was a good start. She was sure that it was not just sex between them but maybe John wasn’t quite ready to cross that boundary in the cold light of day.  
\-----------  
She was already in the office when he strolled in looking a bit more flustered than she was used to, not quite sure where to focus his eyes they darted around the room never quite able to sit focussed on Lise like they normally did.  
“How was Toronto?” McLeod asked. It sounded like a very probing question to John’s ears which rattled him.  
“Good” was the only response they could muster. The words falling out of John’s mouth rushed and squeaky before they hurried into the meeting room to be briefed by Jerry on the new developments in the case. McLeod, not normally renowned for his tact or observation skills, took a moment to process the strange dynamic between the two partners wondering why Cardinal’s voice had sounded so much higher pitched than normal. What had happened in Toronto he mused? If he didn’t know better he could have sworn detective Cardinal looked like a guilty schoolboy and McLeod was intrigued to know why.  
\----------------------------  
There wasn’t time to dwell on personal feelings from the moment they left that briefing room. The case was rushing towards its conclusion and she only hoped that there would be a positive outcome and they could find the girl before it was too late.  
Racing through the frozen forest the sound of sirens blaring and police radio updates washed over Lise as she tried to retain the concentration she needed. It was a struggle being in such a confined space with the partner she was now seeing with renewed eyes. His imposing height and frame always took up a fair portion of the car but today he overwhelmed her. His warmth seeping across and almost beckoning her closer as she let her hand come to rest on the divider milometers from his. 

Driving was a welcome distraction for John. The smell of Lise’s hair was tickling his nose in the confines of the police truck and it brought with it a rush of memories from that night they had shared together. Everything came back to him as though they were still in that moment and his brain was awash again with the feel of her warm naked body pressing into his as he ran his fingers along her back burying his face into her damp curled hair and inhaling her smell which was so intoxicating to him. The call out over the radio shook him back to reality and he glanced across catching her eye for a split second before looking down the see her fingers so close he could feel their warmth in his own. He couldn’t stop his need to touch her as his hesitant pinkie bridged the gap, testing the waters anxiously hoping she wouldn’t pull away. He needn’t have worried as her warm fingers moved to entwine with his and it was bliss, for the merest of moments, before the sirens blared again and it was back to real life. 

Everything happened so quickly after they peeled off from the group in search of the campsite. They had both been shot but the adrenaline pushed them through the cold as they frantically scanned the blanket of trees for Scott. John was gripping her tightly in his arms, pure fear in his eyes at the thought of losing her. The crash of a gunshot echoed around them. He had never been so pleased to see Jerry in his life.  
They had reached them in time but the relief although overwhelming felt anticlimactic to John. The inevitability that this was the last case they would work together hit him much harder than the bullet which was currently embedded in his vest ever could have. He stood silently, sure he was bleeding from an invisible wound, as his team gathered around the blue lights of the emergency vehicles and Lise was ushered by a paramedic to be checked over. 

“What are you gonna do when she’s gone?” Jerry asked him, a knowing look in his warm eyes.

“I don’t know yet.” Was all he could say to his good friend. In that moment he had absolutely no idea how he would survive if she left his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a bit soppier. Not promising any resolutions just yet though.  
> ... That would be too easy


	6. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go a bit off piste. I like the idea of caring sensitive John and sure you do too. It would be too easy to let them be home alone so there are still a few twists to work through. Enjoy...

Inwardly she had hoped he would have insisted on coming to the hospital with her especially when she saw him holding her gaze through the dim light as she was checked over in the ambulance. He looked lost in his thoughts though and she didn’t want to push him. Maybe he just needed a bit of space to process everything the last 72 hours had thrown up. 

The doctor had explained that she had a couple of un-displaced rib fractures and a small apical pneumothorax. That was why it was sore to breath too deeply or move too quickly. Her observations were stable though and oxygen saturations safe. They had wanted to keep her overnight for monitoring but she couldn’t face spending the night in a cold hospital ward after such an awful day. Threatening to sign herself out the medical team had agreed to let her leave on the condition that she had someone with her in case she deteriorated. So, she called the only person she wanted to be with.

“Hey” he answered on the first ring which made her smile, stupidly happy that he had obviously been staring at his phone waiting on her call. His familiar monosyllabic gravelly greeting was like a hug to her over-tired, over-sore soul. Telling him about her tests and the doctors’ orders she could hear the worry in his voice as he rushed to suggest that she stay in hospital.

“I don’t want to stay John. Not after today. Can I stay with you tonight?”

There was a deafening few moments silence before he answered.  
“Kelly’s here Lise. I didn’t realise she was coming up.” She could hear him exhale an accustomed sigh down the phone. “I think she’s worried about me. Don’t know how she turned out so sensible.” 

“I don’t want to interrupt” she blurted out, suddenly feeling awkward, “don’t worry I’ll be fine.”

“I want to look after you Lise” he quickly countered, trying to relay confidence and calm into his words when inside his mind was racing. “We can head over to the house. Everything is in boxes but the sale doesn’t go through for another month. There won’t be space at the apartment for us all and I wouldn’t feel right leaving Kelly alone.” He rushed through his reply so quickly that when his brain caught up with his mouth he suddenly thought to ask, “Is that OK with you?”

Lise smiled silently down the phone. “That would be really lovely John. It will be nice to have her company for both of us after today. Thankyou.”

“Great,” his voice squeaked out a bit higher than intended. “I’m so glad you are ok Lise.”

The way he said her name brought her out in goose-bumps. She tried to reason that it was the medication she had been given for the pain that was making her limbs feel like jelly but she knew it was hearing the emotion in the voice of the man she so clearly loved on the other end of the phone. 

“We’ll swing by the house and get the boiler kicked in then I’ll come collect you.” There was a pause and Lise wondered if he had already hung off. “You might even get to try some of my chilli again if you’re lucky.” They both laughed, harder than they ought to at that.  
\------------------------  
It was lovely and warm when they got into Cardinal’s house. The smell of cooking had filled the space and it felt strangely like home to both of them in that moment. Kelly came rushing out of the kitchen throwing her arms around Lise in a lovely gesture which was much more painful than she let on. John felt an ache rise inside his chest overwhelmed by the comfortable exchange between the two people who were his world. He had been terrified when Lise had been shot that everything would come crumbling down again. He just couldn’t quite find the words yet to tell her. 

Feeling more awkward than he should have he excused them both from Kelly’s cheery chatter showing Lise up to his room.  
“You have the bed Lise and I’ll stay on the sofa tonight. I’ve given Kelly the spare room”.  
They stared at each other for a long time with neither quite able to say what they wanted. Then he rushed off to help in the kitchen leaving Lise to freshen up. 

When she came downstairs the table was laid and John was contentedly listening to Kelly recount tales of her exciting life in the city. It was a lovely sight that tugged at her heartstrings. This life with John was what she desperately wanted. 

“Lise are you hungry?” Kelly’s words returned her to reality and she nodded smiling. Walking to join them at the table she couldn’t work out the look in John’s eyes as they followed her until she sat beside him. She hadn’t seen it before and it made her feel hot and flustered. Dinner went by in a blur of Kelly’s stories which was just what the two of them needed, allowing the horrors of the day to retreat from their minds. 

Deciding to leave the dishes until the morning they all made themselves comfortable in front of the fire. Kelly had insisted they take the sofa after the day they had had and moved to sit on the rug opposite them, curling her legs under her and taking out a book. Lise fell asleep quickly, the mix of wine and strong pain killers combined with a contentedly full stomach causing her eyes to feel heavy. In her sleep her body relaxed and instinctively snuggled into John allowing her head to rest on his shoulder. He didn’t mind, in fact it felt very right, and he didn’t make any attempt to move instead continuing his novel. He must have read the same page 20 times whilst trying and probably failing to stop his face giving away to his daughter how happy he felt as his aching body enjoyed the feel of the comforting warmth pressed around him. 

Kelly stopped reading and looked over at them on the sofa realising that they had both fallen asleep. He looked the way she remembered him from her early childhood, relaxed and happy, as a peaceful smile graced his face. It was strange seeing them like this with Lise taking the place that her mother once would have. It dawned on her that she wasn’t sad about it. Instead she smiled knowing the reason for the shift in her dad, out of the darkness that had been consuming him, was curled up against him looking just as happy. “Idiots” she whispered aloud, smiling again when she saw that his hand was curled around Lise’s small fingers, gripping her protectively as he slept. “Why can’t you tell each other how you really feel and let yourselves be happy?” Creeping up she gently rested a blanket over them before turning out the lights and leaving them together on the sofa as the fire ebbed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least asleep they are honest with each other. Now for a few more stumbling blocks to happiness....
> 
> Real work might get in the way of such frequent updates but hope you guys stick with me.


	7. Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez the angst! Poor Cardinal... there will be light at the end of the tunnel though (I promise)

7) Fears

He awoke to an unfamiliar feeling of warmth settled in his lap, his heart racing when he realised that it was Lise who had managed to make herself more comfortable since they had both fallen asleep and shuffled down the sofa so that her head lay snug against his thigh. He was very conscious of how close she was to brushing against him which was really turning him on. There was a strange mix of wonder and arousal as he gazed at her, lit through the moonlight and the embers of the fire. She looked so beautiful and happy and full of youth and life. He couldn’t stop his fingers running through the soft curl of her hair as it fuzzed around her flushed cheeks. His hands looked old and ravaged by life, to his critical eyes, against her flawless porcelain skin. Then the doubts started to cloud his mind again. He felt a horrible sense of guilt at preventing her living her life and holding her back. ‘What would she want with an old man like him carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders?’ He always felt at his worst in the early hours of the morning and somehow the feel of her lying on top of him, breathing gently and feeling so bloody right was breaking his heart. “Please don’t leave me” he whispered, suddenly vulnerable. ‘I love you Lise… but I don’t know how to tell you’ he continued silently in his head. Sliding his hand so it tucked around her waist, encasing her in the warmth and safety of his arms, he desperately needed to feel connected with her as he tried to savour this perfect moment in fear that he would never get to hold her against him like this again. He must have fallen back to sleep as when he awoke his neck was killing him and he was alone on the couch in the bright light of the morning. A shiver escaped him as he ran his hands through his hair, scrunching his face up and sighing, an almighty sigh. ‘Fuck’ he shouted inside his head before heading in search of coffee. 

“How did you sleep dad?” Kelly asked cheerily as he walked into the kitchen, a knowing smile dancing across her face. Trying to suppress the flush he felt rising up his neck he stared down at the coffee maker which had suddenly become very interesting. Instead of answering a strange growling noise escaped his lips. 

“Have you seen Lise this morning?” he asked, composing himself and trying to sound as unconcerned as he could muster. 

“She went to get some air before breakfast. I suggested she take a walk down towards the water, it’s so beautiful at this time of year with the frost.” 

She looked at him as he took a slow drink of his coffee. His face looked older than it had last night and so miserable that she wanted to hug him and tell him it would all be alright. But she knew it wouldn’t, not if he didn’t stop being such a stubborn idiot. “Are you going to let her leave you dad?” she looked directly at him refusing to let him break eye contact, “without at least trying to stop her?”. 

There was a painful silence as his eyes clouded over. He obviously wasn’t going to open up so she would tell him what she needed him to hear. “I saw you holding her last night dad, on the sofa. I can’t remember seeing you look that happy…. not even with mum.” A little sadness tinged her voice as she spoke “You love her don’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question as she knew he wouldn’t answer her. He didn’t have to. It was written all across his face. “I’m not sure I can pick up the pieces and put you back together again dad.” And she meant it. Not this time.

He nodded taking in a deep slow breath before opening his mouth to speak. When nothing would come out he changed tact pulling his daughter in for a strong bear hug. Kissing her hair he crushed her against him. “I haven’t stopped loving your mum, you know that don’t you? I just.. I feel whole when I’m with her Kel… and I haven’t felt that way in a long time.” Letting her go he looked down at his daughter. When had she got so grown up and wise he thought to himself. “I’m scared Kel. I don’t want to lose her but I can’t stop her fulfilling her dreams. She has so much life to live I’m terrified she will realise she doesn’t want to tie herself to someone with as much baggage as me…” he trailed off not quite finishing his sentence. 

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you dad…the way you look at each other! I think you need to give her the option to decide what she wants.” She smiled letting out a breath through her nose. “Go find her dad. Tell her its time for breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eep almost too much angst to post but hopefully it builds the tension for some cheerier chat in the near future.........


	8. Awakenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I feel everyone has maybe had enough angst and it is time for some heartfelt fluff. I love the idea of John finally using some of those words he has so often trapped in his mind......

It was a sharp pain under her clavicle that woke Lise with a start. The wearing off of the morphine jolting her back to reality before she became aware of where she was and more pressingly who was wrapped so wonderfully around her. Slowly the events seeped back into her conscious as she remembered the warm comforting feeling that had overwhelmed her that night on the sofa. She flushed with embarrassment at the dull recollection that as her inhibitions waned in the grasp of sleep she had shifted across to wrap herself keenly against John, burying her face in the comfort of his neck so that her nose was tickled by his soft beard. Her last lucid memory was of his smell, which reminded her of a pine forest in winter, crisp and masculine. Most of all though it felt like home, overpowering her as she drifted off into the most soothing of sleeps. It had been such a happy evening in the company of probably her two favourite people. Somehow, and this might have been the meds talking, it had felt like she truly belonged. She couldn’t stop a tear sliding down her cheek at the thought that she had to leave this all behind. Most devastating to her fragile heart was having everything she had ever wanted with John so close to her grasp and yet painfully out of reach. 

Shifting to relieve some of the shooting pain that had migrated into her scapula she couldn’t work out how she had managed to end up with her head in his lap and whether he was a willing participant in their current entanglement. The sensation of his protective embrace holding her so gently against him gave her some hope, but it was breaking her heart not knowing if for him the only change in their relationship was a new found physical familiarity. He had had every opportunity last night to have told her if his feelings for her ran deeper than an intense friendship with the added bonus of excellent sex. But as was the way with John he had remained silent and her brain couldn’t cope with the uncertainty.  
It was already so close to morning that early winter sunlight was seeping into the room. She didn’t think she could face the reality of him waking up and denying her the love she so needed him to admit. Instead she managed to extract herself from his tangle of limbs before bumping head on into a very bouncy Kelly at the top of the stairs whilst in search for some pain relief.

“Hey Lise.” She smiled as she spoke. “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty sore I’m afraid” and she wasn’t just talking about her physical wounds as she spoke. Realising she was sounding like a grumbling idiot she joked, “Your dad makes a pretty bony pillow.” They both laughed although Kelly could see sadness in Lise as she spoke. Her dad had a lot to answer for she thought to herself. 

“I think I need to get some air if you don’t mind. I’m not the best company this morning.” 

Retrieving the medications that the hospital had discharged Lise with Kelly had told her of a favourite walk of hers that took you down to the lake through a short tree lined path. “It’s beautiful this time of year Lise. Take your time I’ll make a start on some breakfast for when you’re ready.”  
\------------------------------------  
Kelly was right about the path down to the lake. She had found the clearing she had spoken of and a sense of serenity and calm had washed over her. The ice blue of the water, so clear it was like a mirror, reflected the white and green of the forest around like a scene from a Christmas card. In that moment she suddenly knew why John had his heart set on a cabin by the water. It seemed like the best idea in the world. She closed her eyes imaging herself wrapped in his arms on the balcony on a frosty morning like today, a hot cup of coffee in her hand as he placed sleepy kisses down the line of her jaw. She could feel the heat of his body radiating through the cold and his name escaped her lips in a wistful plea... “John…”.  
“Lise…” her name sounded like honey to her. The initial stiffening of her body at the shock of his very real presence standing behind her in the snow, interrupting her moment of fantasy, quickly seeped away as his arms slid around her waste pulling her back against his chest as she melted into his embrace. 

“Beautiful isn’t it?” He spoke into her ear so quietly that she might have not heard him if the warmth of his breath hadn’t danced across her skin. “I love this spot,” he finished in the same deep whisper before his warm lips brushed against the cold of her earlobe, just above the fur of her collar, sending a shiver through her eager body. Turning in his arms and looking up at him she could feel tears stinging at her eyes at the look on his face. He was flushed from the cold and his love for her was written as clear as day across his features. 

“I’m pretty sure I've been an idiot Lise” his voice was deep and full of emotion as he forced his eyes to keep their focus on her face so that he didn’t lose his nerve before he told her what he needed to say. “I’ve never been good at this….” There was a pause again before he continued. “At talking about how I feel.” He cleared his throat as his eyes darted across her face, his pupils dilating as he basked in the look of admiration he saw in her, before continuing in a husky murmur.. “about what I want”. 

The way he said that last word caused Lise to tremble in his arms. 

“It’s you Lise. It has always been you..” he looked down at his feet for a moment feeling a wave of guilt at the reality that he was a married man when, through no fault of her own, she had started to find a way into his closed off heart. When he spoke he was admitting this out loud not just to Lise but to himself for the first time. “It’s only ever been you. For so much longer than it should have been.” As he paused, trying to find the words to finish what he had finally started, his cold un-gloved fingers subconsciously reached up to rest against her face. Absentmindedly tracing along the line of her jaw, where the skin was still warm from the protection of her thick snood, he soaked up the love in her eyes and found the confidence to continue. “You have brought me back to life Lise, I…. I can’t let you go…not without telling you.”

There was another long silence as she watched his chest rise and fall rapidly. She was determined not to interrupt his outpour of emotion so she forced herself into silence even though every fibre in her body wanted desperately to reassure this beautiful, complicated, vulnerable man that she felt the same. She knew she had to let him do this. At his own pace. 

And then he said the words that she had resigned herself might never pass his lips. “I can’t let you walk out of my life.. out of my world without you knowing that.. that I love you Lise. I love you…. more than I thought I ever could again.”

Then his lips found hers. It was the lightest of touches, soft and warm against the cold of the air. She wasn’t sure if she had ever been kissed like this before. There was no rush or desperation like the night they had shared in Toronto. This time he was deliberately slow. His mouth tender and warm as he encircled her with his arms, showing her with his actions just how deeply he was in love with her. As she sighed against him he took his opportunity, letting his tongue run along the inside of her upper lip, just enough that she could taste the hot fresh coffee on his breath before he pulled back again, teasing her with soft gentle kisses. Finally, when she felt as though she had forgotten how to breathe, he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against hers, their faces so close that they were sharing the same hot breath as he smiled down at her. It was probably the most beautiful sight Lise had ever seen. 

“You hungry?” he grinned warmly. 

Not trusting her voice all she could do was nod, her smile stretching up to her eyes and bringing out the dimples in her cheeks that he loved so much. 

“Good.” His words sounded giddy and still choked up with emotion. “Me too... and I think Kelly will be wondering what is taking me so long to fetch you for breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was soft and fluffy enough to bring a smile. It must be about fluff and smut time....


	9. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was going to be pure hot smut but then things accidentally got a bit warm and fluffy again..... I hope you enjoy

It had been a pretty glorious walk back to the house, taking them twice as long as it should have because it was suddenly impossible for John to go more than 10 steps without needing to taste her lips again. Not that Lise was complaining. It felt wonderful being showered in kisses and touches and glances, as his eyes danced like gemstones against the icy white backdrop. He couldn’t quite grasp the lightness that he felt in his chest. The relief was immeasurable after such a long time of putting up with the ache and pain of always holding his feelings behind a wall, terrified that the truth would mean losing his best friend. 

When he thought back later to that moment, he figured it was like his heart had been encased tightly in chains for as long as he could remember and that Lise had come into his life with a pair of bolt cutters. He could suddenly breathe! 

When they eventually got back to the house he had caught her gently by the arm before pinning her up against the wall. The full length of his body pressing her into the cold wood as his eager tongue plunged into her warm mouth. Unable to satiate his hunger for her. The risk of being caught was exciting to him as he held her, just out of sight of the door, stealing excruciatingly slow hot kisses. When he had to pull back to catch his breath he caught her lower lip possessively between his teeth causing her to cry out his name. 

His light eyes had turned a dark black with desire. “Fuck Lise,” he managed to gasp out “how am I going to get through today without ripping your clothes off?”

“There will be plenty of time for that detective,” the words rolled off her tongue in a thick French slur that made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Then she reached up on tiptoes so she could whisper in his ear. “I believe you had plans to make me cum all night.”  
Holding his eyes with hers, just long enough to see the flash of desire erupt in them, she playfully pushed him off. Walking towards the door a grin spread across her face. She was fully aware of what those words had done to him.

\-------

It had taken a good 5 minutes standing in the freezing cold before his blood had cooled enough that he could join them in the kitchen and look his daughter in the eye. 

They were giggling when he walked in, Kelly with her back to him as she tended to the stove whilst Lise set the table. The smell of bacon and pancakes filled the air and he wondered when his daughter had gotten so domesticated. College was clearly doing her good as she certainly hadn’t learnt it from him. As they sat down to eat his hand accidentally grazed Lise’s arm causing them both to jump as though they had connected with a live electrical cable. It didn’t go unnoticed by Kelly. ‘It must have been one hell of a morning walk,’ she thought to herself as she took a sip of coffee, suppressing a smile. 

It was a lovely relaxing Saturday afternoon. The kind that weekends were made for. The house felt alive again as if it just needed a family, ‘his family’ to fill it with love again. He would need to speak to Lise later about what they were going to do about work and Toronto. The one thing he knew with certainty was, that whatever she decided she needed to do, he wasn’t going to let her too far out of his reach. Then he smiled to himself, comforted by the knowledge that even more wonderful than his own heartfelt realisation was the relief that he was now certain she wasn’t going to leave him either. 

As the early evening approached he had excused himself with the promise that he would go top up supplies and bring them back something good for dinner that nobody had to cook. From the way his two favourite women had just about shooed him out the door he didn’t have to be a detective to suspect that his ears would be burning whilst he was away.

He had planned a trip to the grocery store for most of the day. They had been careless in their lust the first time they had slept together and his sensible head felt it would be irresponsible and presumptuous of him, as a fully grown man, to not have protection this time. He couldn’t remember the last time he had bought condoms and even the act of making this purchase made his heart race in anticipation. Filling his basket with a couple of nice bottles of red wine he toyed with the idea of buying flowers, feeling like a love-struck teenager, eventually deciding that Lise wasn’t the soppy romantic gesture kind of woman. She preferred more tangible expressions of emotion and he would certainly show her later just how much he cared. The thought of what he wanted to do to her had his palms sweating as he waited in line to pay. 

He had picked up pizza on his way home that they washed down with probably too much of the wine. After dinner they had sent Kelly through to relax whilst they cleared up the plates. She had looked after them enough for one day. 

“How are you feeling?” he whispered as she felt him suddenly breathing against her neck, letting his warm strong hands slide up her back to rest atop her shoulders. He gently massaged her tense muscles allowing the fingers of his left hand to slide the fabric of her baggy gym shirt down to reveal the soft skin of her breast beneath her clavicle. His face darkening at the horrible bruise the impact of the bullet had left on her delicate skin as he soothed over the mark with his fingertips, “does it still hurt?” 

“No” she murmured turning to plant a quick kiss to his eager lips, “I feel great John.”

When they had run out of excuses to remain in the kitchen, canoodling like teenagers, they joined Kelly in the lounge finding happily that she had lit the fire and the room was filled with warmth. They played cards and laughed as though this set up was the most normal thing in the world. It was still early when Kelly excused herself to go to bed. Lise stood to hug her, the two women sharing a knowing smile as Lise kissed her cheek, bidding her goodnight.

Then they were alone on the sofa. A wicked smile lit up Johns face, “I believe I have a promise to keep........”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all know where this is going next...just in time for the weekend :p


	10. Shhhh!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well it had to happen! may as well have some John Cardinal Smut for the weekend!

As soon as he closed the door to his bedroom she had grabbed him, hurriedly pulling at the hem of his sweater. ‘Mmmph’ he moaned against her lips, he was already so hard that even the lightest rub of her waist against his jeans sent a shock of pleasure through him. “God knows I want to fuck you Lise” he growled, already out of breath, “but first I want to make love to you in my bed..” His voice softened and he held her gaze before finishing, “in our bed.” And with that he extracted her arms from his waste, guiding her backwards until she was sitting on the edge of the mattress. 

Lise licked her lips as John gazed down at her, his impressive erection straining in his pants at a deliciously accessible level. She had to bite down to stop herself reaching out to release him. She hadn’t tasted him yet and the prospect was already making her wetter than she thought possible. Her heart had started pounding, echoing about her head in the silence, as she waited in torturous suspense as he stood just out of reach. Tormenting her with his eyes. 

They had all night he thought as he gazed at the beautiful woman in front of him. She was finally his and he wasn’t a man who broke his promises. His hands slid her loose t-shirt up over her willing arms, kneeling down between her legs so that his face was level with her breasts. Again he was mesmerised, the delicate lace of her bra barely concealing the pink of her nipples. He dipped his head, his wet lips saturating the thin fabric as he sucked a hardened nipple into his mouth causing her to sigh his name. Her whimpering noises spurring him on as his male ego was flattered by her body’s response to his attentions. Resurfacing from her haze she reached out to unbuckle his jeans but he pushed her hands away instead gently easing her upper body back onto the bed. From this angle he could easily slide her leggings and panties under her and down her legs in one smooth motion, granting him access to where he was so desperate to taste. 

She lay gasping for air, staring up at the ceiling as she felt his hot breath ghost across the skin of her inner thigh as his tongue tickled a path towards her core, nibbling and kissing so frustratingly slowly she thought she might explode. She couldn’t stop her legs squirming as she pleaded his name urging him desperately to hurry up. When his tongue reached her hot folds she was almost embarrassed at how wet she was already. Her body arching into him as his expert mouth found exactly the right spot causing her to cry out his name, louder than she had realised. 

“Shhhhhh” his voice soothed, filled with laughter. “I want to be able to look my daughter in the eye tomorrow morning.”

Somewhere in the time it took her to resurface from her mind-blowing orgasm John had managed to strip off the remainder of his clothes. She moved to the top of the bed so she could lay more comfortably, resting her head against the pillow to admire him in all his masculine glory. He really was a handsome man, the muscles of his broad chest sloping into a toned stomach tickled in fine black hairs that led the path down to his very ready erection. The memory of how well he had filled her caused a flush to rise up her neck. “I need to feel you inside me again John” and he nodded reaching stealthily to grab a condom before sliding across so that his body was inches above hers. She was so ready for him that he met no resistance as he easily slipped into her. The tightness of her depths squeezing around him as he slowly pressed deeper, giving her body time to accommodate him as he let his hungry mouth swallow her satisfied moans. Already so aroused from her taste it took every ounce of his concentration to hold himself hovering over the edge of oblivion long enough to pull her over with him. The friction of her body against his was overwhelming, the way they melded together was like nothing he had experienced in his life. Feeling her walls begin to spasm around him he sped up, relishing the sensation of his rapid decent towards release. With the last reserves of conscious thought he peppered her with kisses, “You’re so beautiful Lise…” he murmured before crushing his lips over hers, muffling both their moans as they came together. 

They lay damp and panting, holding each other tightly as they came back down to earth together. “Mmm,” Lise whispered against him “I can safely say that was worth the wait John Cardinal.” She could feel his lips twitching into a smile against her neck. The way she had said his name, her voice husky with satisfaction, warming his soul. 

“I love hearing you say my name…” his words wistfully left his lips before he even knew he was speaking. 

Feeling suddenly cold they found their way underneath the covers before he pulled her back into his arms. They lay in contented silence for probably 20 minutes, his long powerful limbs encasing her in a safe embrace. Normally fiercely independent, she hated feeling small and vulnerable. Now though, cocooned in his strong arms, she loved the idea that he would always protect her. Her head had found a lovely spot on his chest to lay against where she could hear the comforting slow thud of his heart beat. Her fingers resting against his lower abdomen, tracing sleepy circles against his warm skin. She was beginning to feel herself drifting off into a comfortable sleep when she was interrupted by the feel of a certain part of his anatomy, clearly not ready to rest just yet, twitch against her thigh. “Wow” she murmured “again already?” Her approval clearly audible as her hand traced down to wrap around his hardening length causing him to reflexively thrust into her fingers with a low growl.

He was pretty amazed himself, if he was honest, at the speed of his body’s recovery and clear keenness for more. The effect Lise had on him made him feel 25 again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm very sure that John Cardinal could go on all night..... 
> 
> Feeling as though this fic might be nearing its conclusion sadly as I have loved writing it. Think there are a few chapters left in me x


	11. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lazy Sunday Mornings are made for fluff and Smut surely.

They had made love twice more that night before exhaustion overwhelmed them both in the early hours. The thrill of exploring each other’s body’s, discovering the most sensitive places and which touches excited the other had been incredible. The physical chemistry they shared matched the intellectual and emotional bond already so strong between them. Certainly for John it was a sexual attraction he had never experienced, he didn’t think he would ever tire of finding ways to make her happy. 

\------

It was already light when she awoke, a little tender but overwhelmed with happiness. On the pillow beside her John’s face was calm and his breathing slow and steady, he was the picture of serenity as he slept. It was a lovely image that she recorded to memory.  
Her dry mouth getting the better of her she gently eased his warm hand from the curve of her thigh, freezing when he let out a sleepy protest but never fully roused. Creeping down to the kitchen she poured herself a glass of water before spotting the note on the table.

[I was up early so have gone to meet some school friends before I head back down to College. Won’t be home until tonight. I’m sure you will find something to keep you occupied. Have a fun day! K XxX]

Lise could only smile at how insightful John’s daughter was. He had raised such a brilliant and smart young woman. Somehow that made her love him even more.

Looking at the clock it was coming up for 10 and it was a beautiful crisp winter morning outside. She should really take a shower and make the most of the sunshine. The only problem was that there was a certain man lying upstairs in whose arms she eagerly wanted to be wrapped back up in. A shiver of anticipation ran through her as she tiptoed back up to his bed.

His feet where hanging out the bottom of the duvet as he lay stretched out, the same serene expression lighting up his sleeping face. Slipping back out of her t-shirt and leggings she slid her cool naked body back into the warmth of the covers. In half sleep he sensed her presence, lazily reaching out a long arm to hook around her stomach pulling her back into his chest. 

“Mmmhhmm” a drowsy noise escaped his lips against her hair. “G’morning,” he croaked, his voice heavy with sleep. “Thank you for last night” he whispered against her ear, his smile audible in his words as he pulled her tighter against him. 

Feeling his morning hardness pressing into her sent a thrilling ripple through her pelvis as she rolled in his arms so she could look into his face. A slow seductive smile forming on her lips as her eyes twinkled up at him. “I think it is me who should be thanking you..” Deliberately holding his gaze she slowly reached her hand between them, brushing her thumb over the sensitive skin. “I think..” she murmured, as her fingers encircled his shaft, “that it’s my turn this morning.” 

The feeling of her taking him in her hand overpowered his senses. He almost didn’t notice as she rolled their bodies so that he was laying on his back looking up at her. She had discarded the blankets leaving them both naked in the cool of the morning air. He could do nothing but watch through hooded eyes as she trailed delicate kisses across his chest. When her hot mouth focused its attention on his sensitive nipple, biting down sharply with her teeth, he heard himself shouting out her name, his hips reflexively spasming up in search of her. 

“Fuck Lise” his words shaky as he spoke. “Are you trying to kill me?”

The sound of her laugh vibrated through him. With his eyes still closed he could picture her face lit up with pleasure, her beautiful eyes dancing in delight. “That would be a very unfortunate outcome John,” her voice still tickled with laughter. “I still have a lot of use for you yet.” 

She loved the power she had over him. His satisfied moans driving her arousal as she continued to explore his body, stopping to place sensitive kisses to the scars and bruises that littered his torso. It was an unpleasant reminder of the toll the job took on his body as well as his mind. When her hot mouth reached the mound of his pubic bone his brain started to irrationally worry. Looking down at her beautiful mouth tickling his skin he felt acutely self-conscious. The bright morning light highlighting the difference in their bodies. He was still fit and in shape but his body had changed in the last 15 years, losing some of the definition of his youth, his hairs greying in places. The thought of her seeing all of him made him vulnerable and anxious. Even after last night there were still niggling doubts about why she would want to be tied to a man like him. 

She felt him stiffen uncomfortably beneath her, his hands resting on her shoulders halting her progress. Panic rushed through her. Terrified she had caused him pain her eyes jumped to his, seeing them suddenly clouded with worry. 

“What’s wrong John?” The concern obvious in her voice as she moved back up his body so that she could read his face more clearly.

Feeling embarrassed and not sure what to say he rambled as he spoke. “I..uh.. I…you don’t need to do that you know Lise… I’m not.. I mean..”  
Running out of words he could only gaze at her, hoping she could read what he wanted to say. She always seemed to know what he was thinking. 

“I love you so much John.” Her words strong with emotion as she stopped to kiss him passionately. “I am beyond attracted to you. Embarrassingly so! I’ve never felt this kind of physical pull to anyone in my life.” Her lips kissed across the angle of his jaw lovingly before she continued. “Sometimes you make a pretty terrible detective!” Kissing him again she took his hand in her own, guiding his fingers to the soft wetness between her legs where her arousal was palpable. Her voice softened to a lust filled whisper, “This is what your body does to me John. The way you look at me, the way you smell and feel beneath me. I want to taste you John, to make you feel as good as you made me feel last night….”

And she did. The feel of her warm, soft mouth enveloping him had him gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles hurt. Her reassurances quenching his irrational fears. He loved and trusted her. Relinquishing control and allowing his body and mind to give itself fully to her as she steered him to release was earth shaking. 

\-------

It was after midday when the need to eat overcame the desire to remain wrapped in each other’s arms. The shift in their relationship so world changing that it overwhelmed Lise how normal it felt to be cooking lunch together in his kitchen as though it was just another Sunday. Watching him, make a bit of a mess of an omelette, the realisation came to her that she couldn’t live in a different city from this man. What they were going to do though, that wasn’t quite so easy to decide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for some serious decisions in amongst all this fluff.


	12. Shocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is heavily angsty I warn you now. But it will get better - you can't have the highs without the lows. What if the consequences of that night in Toronto are more far reaching than they ever thought possible, how will they cope with shocking revelations - especially John and his emotional ineptitude at times....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me ages to decide where this story was going to go. Then I eventually decided go hard or go home and if you cant go OTT in fanfic when can you. It may not be quite in keeping with the characters but I don't think it is a totally farfetched concept. I finally have the conclusion of this story mapped out so hopefully can keep the updates more regular (especially now I have kinda got jealous John out of my system!)

It was business as usual come Monday morning, as though the weekend was all a dream. A jubilant atmosphere met them when they arrived, a shared relief within the team at the conclusion of the case. Even the reality of having to collate and finalise all the evidence for court proceedings hadn’t managed to pull anyone’s mood down. 

Surprisingly even John was enjoying desk work, usually his least favourite activity. Somehow the view over his computer was making his day a lot more fun. Every time her gaze caught his stare she would smile shyly or better still narrow her eyes at him suggestively, shaking her head in mock telling off. He would grin back, eyes wide and dancing with feigned innocence, her expression having had quite the opposite effect on his libido than that which she intended. By the end of his shift, full of suppressed desire, he had a mental list of everything he had planned to do to her when he had her all to himself. 

They had gone back to her apartment again, his small place still cold and full of boxes. The moment he closed the door his hands had reached for her, not even able to wait until she had taken off her thick jacket. Stopping himself touching her for 9 hours had been the very limit of his strained will power. He wasn’t the only one, their hunger for each other was hot and fast. Somehow in under a minute they had ripped every layer of clothing from their bodies, clumsily pulling and stumbling and laughing in the tiny space at the bottom of Lise’s staircase. He was already so hard for her. In all honesty he had been almost erect for the majority of the journey home, the smell of her hair in the enclosed space of the car overwhelming his senses, as her fingers had caressed his thigh. He had debated the legality of pulling over and taking her there and then, only stopped by the real fear of what Dyson would do to him if they were caught! 

They had hard hot sex against the door. There was no seduction or preamble. It definitely wasn’t his most tender moment but it was what they needed to find release together. They had the rest of the night to tick off the remainder of his mental list…

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been easy to skirt around what they were actually going to do about work and Toronto all week. Too distracted by physical need and a little afraid where starting that very serious conversation would lead. So, it had got to Saturday night sitting on her sofa, her feet resting in his lap as he sleepily kneaded against them with his warm strong hands, when she finally spoke.

“What are we going to do John, about this.. about us?” Anxious of broaching the topic but knowing her inner frustration had reached a point where she couldn’t go on ignoring the giant elephant in the room.

He slowed his hands, never fully stopping their attention on her feet. “What do you want Lise?” He looked up at her as he spoke softly, “I want you to be happy. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

“I want to be with you John. I’m just not sure what we do about work. I don’t think we can keep things the way they are, not now. Do you?” Looking up at him with softness and love in her eyes she murmured in her native tongue, “Je ne peux pas garder ce secret ma chèrie. I can’t keep this secret my darling.” 

Swallowing down against what her words had done to his gut he made the best attempt he could at maintaining a calm steady tone to his voice.  
“We don’t need to decide straight away do we?” His hand reaching to take her own, lifting her palm to his lips and placing a soft kiss on her delicate skin. “I just know I don’t ever want to be apart from you Lise. If you stay, we can talk to Dyson and figure it out, and if you decide you want to go to Toronto, if that is your dream… I will come with you.”

“But it’s not your dream John….” She trailed off holding his gaze.

“I know. But maybe it will be now…” Pulling her gently so her lips were within his reach he spoke again, his words husky all of a sudden “In case you hadn’t noticed I’m pretty crazy about you.” Then he kissed her and well, nothing else seemed to matter again. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been 6 weeks since everything had changed between them, that night in the Toronto hotel room. She had been putting off her decision about moving to the city, an inner debate raging between her love for John and her desire to realise the professional ambition she had thought would always take priority in her life. Now time was running out to come to an answer. 

They had spoken with Dyson early on at the insistence of Lise. She now knew of their fledgling relationship, her reaction less shocking than either had anticipated. John in particular had been anxious about disclosing the new blurring of their professional partnership, dragging his feet like a toddler until Lise had forcibly marched him into the office. Ultimately the decision was made that they could remain working together in the short term but something had to give if another big case came along. There was no leeway in her decision. Dyson all too aware that this emotional shift was high risk, extremely likely to affect their ability to maintain focus on the job under pressure. 

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It took Lise by surprise the first morning she had been woken in a cold sweat by a wave of nausea, rushing out of John’s arms to throw up. Suspecting a viral illness, she had soothed his concern, explaining away her symptoms as nothing in her own mind, reassured when they quickly settled. Then two days later she had woken up with the same horrible churning in her stomach, followed by a total intolerance of all the cleaning products in her bathroom. Even wiping down the kitchen counter tops had almost caused her to throw up in the sink. Her mind already racing by this point. When was her last period? Merde! She couldn’t remember! Suddenly recalling earlier in the month when she had flippantly put down her lack of period to the stress of the case and the irregular cycles she had been having following stopping the pill earlier in the year, when the prospect of a sexual partner wasn’t on her agenda. She was feeling anything but flippant now though, as a flush of fear caught in her throat. 

Her rational mind couldn’t think of any other explanation and three pregnancy tests later her fears were confirmed. How could she – they!- have been so stupid that night. “Gaghhh!” The frustration escaping her as she stood staring at the sticks lined up on the sink. Appalled at her own naivety she thought back to the hotel, a flush still creeping onto her face at the memory. Neither was thinking clearly that was for sure, so overwhelmed by the intensity of emotion and physical attraction. Maybe he had assumed she was on the pill, he had been married for so long it probably hadn’t crossed his mind, maybe she should have stopped him. Not that she had even an ounce of rational thought in his arms that night. It had never crossed her mind that she would become pregnant, she would never have let herself get into this position with anyone else. Flashbacks to her constant battles with Josh crashed into her brain. The thought of being a mother back then filling her with dread and disgust. Having a child with anyone had never been in her plans. Her skewed view of humanity, mainly due to the daily misery she saw in her job, had cemented her view that she didn’t want to bring a new life into the world. Why then, sat on the bathroom floor her back pressed against the cold of the bath, could she not shake the smile that had crept onto her face as she pictured John’s strong arms cradling their child protectively, playing in the snow, teaching them to sail and fish. Overcome by the images her brain had conjured up, tears had started to slip down her face as it dawned on her how much she already loved this life they had accidentally created and the man whose child was growing inside her. 

There would be no Toronto now. Incredibly she felt more at peace than she had in weeks. The realisation hitting her in the face that staying in Algonquin Bay had been what she truly wanted but before tonight couldn’t quite admit to herself. 

It took her a few days to build up the courage to speak to John. Their relationship was so new and he had so many reasons why he might not be so full of joy at her news. She hadn’t physically seen him since she had found out, lying that she was still feeling ill to keep him at arms length whilst she worked out what to say, knowing that if he looked her in the eyes, she wouldn’t be able to hide the truth from him. 

Lise already felt a pang of guilt that it was Dyson she had told first. It was a necessity in her logical mind, knowing that she would have to become a desk cop for the foreseeable future. 

Not seeing her for two whole days was intolerable and a worried John had insisted she come to his apartment that night promising to cook her favourite meal and look after her until she felt better. Her guilty conscience going into overdrive when his anxious face greeted her at the door before embracing her in a tender hug, ghosting his lips along the crown of her head, mumbling into her hair how much he had missed her. She almost broke down then and there in his arms, biting back tears at his love and warmth.

“I’m not going to Toronto John.” Her words almost bursting out of her throat as they sat down to eat. 

A warm smile lit up his face at her decision. He hadn't wanted to put any pressure on her choice but hearing her words had sent a surge of relief that flooded his body knowing that she was staying in Algonquin Bay with him. 

“There is something else I need to tell you.” Her voice falling to a whisper “Je suis enceinte de votre enfant ….” Her mouth very dry as she watched his face catching up as his brain tried to piece together his limited French. “I’m pregnant John.”

The silence across the table was deafening. His face unreadable, except for a flicker of shock in his eyes. There were no words for what felt like an eternity, until she couldn’t sit there any longer watching him say nothing. Tears stinging at her face as she jumped up, “I’m sorry John. We shouldn’t have been so stupid. I thought you might be happy.. I..We should speak tomorrow…”

Somehow his useless body betrayed him as he sat glued to the seat, hearing her rushed footsteps and the slam of his door as though it was all some terrible dream that he had no control over. Then in the silence of his kitchen her words hit him like a ton of bricks. A fury rising up inside of him at being stupid enough to firstly get her pregnant and then, so much worse, for letting her believe that the idea had horrified him. Unable to suppress his emotion his fist hit the table, so forcefully that he had probably broken his pinky finger in the process. How could he have hurt the woman he loved so badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am sorry that is a terrible ending to a chapter. But... we all know John is really a Knight in Shining armour. He will fix this - just needs to do it in his own way.


	13. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of that shock revelation. How will John react and can he tell Lise how he feels about his world turning upside down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not completely happy with this chapter as I think I was a bit sleepy when I wrote it but its an update. A bit angsty again but emotional John is quite attractive ... I think.

He couldn’t quite make himself go after her when the reality of what she had told him had filtered through into his brain. Instead he opened a bottle of whisky and tried to quieten the storm of fears crashing against his skull. The woman who made his world bright again, whom he loved more than he thought possible was pregnant with his child. He should have been so happy but all he could think was that it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. He had ruined all the plans she had told him of, all of her professional dreams. All because, as a fully grown man, he wasn’t able to control himself around her. How could he possibly be a father again? He hadn’t done the best job first time round and now nearing 60, with much more than a lifetimes fair share of emotional baggage, he wasn’t capable of being the man that Lise and her baby needed. Staring at the empty chair in front of him he drank, sinking into oblivion, until the anxiety no longer hurt. 

His first awareness was of a shooting pain at the back of his head, as though someone had taken a sledgehammer to his scalp. His tongue like sandpaper in his mouth, so dry he could barely prise his lips apart. Trying to orientate himself his eyes darted around the room before seeing the empty bottle. He must have passed out at the table. Stumbling to the sink, his focus was drawn to the scarf Lise had left behind. The events of last night floating through the fog as though dissociated from reality. Then realisation hit him hard, head pounding and suddenly stone cold sober. Shit! He had to speak to Lise. 

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It had been horrific to sit and watch the panic and fear flash across his face. She was fully prepared for some surprise, having been knocked for six by the discovery herself, but her vulnerable emotions were not ready for the abject horror she thought she could see deep in his eyes, for the briefest of moments, before the agonising silence and painfully unreadable expression. Knowing his sense of duty would kick in soon and mask his true feelings she couldn’t bear the idea of him lying to her because he felt it was his responsibility. Not trusting herself not to fall apart she had run, holding on just long enough to make it back to her car before losing complete control of her emotions, tears flooding her face as her entire body trembled with heartache. She couldn’t sleep that night. Holding out hope that he would come to her and tell her he had made a terrible mistake. But he didn’t come and it was the longest, most lonely night of her life. 

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Pacing around his apartment like a caged tiger he had called Lise over twenty times before 9am. Leaving progressively more agitated and grovelling messages, begging for her to speak to him so they could talk things through. When she hadn’t turned up to work, he really started to panic. She never missed work even when she was sick. He found his mind wandering back to the memory of her disgruntled, sniffly face last winter when she had insisted she could work through a terrible head cold which had made her grumpy and quite frankly terrifying. A smile curved at the corners of his lips at the recollection of her interrogating a particularly unfortunate pickpocket who had picked the wrong time to get caught. Unable to suppress the warm feeling that came back over him as he realised he definitely already loved her then. 

Not able to settle all day, he had picked a fight with anyone who made the mistake of crossing his path. The moment he could finally extract himself from the precinct he rushed to her apartment, playing very loose with the speed limit. When she didn’t answer his forceful knocks he fully debated whether to break down her door, only stopping himself at the realisation her car wasn’t parked in the lot. 

It was an agonising night alone in his cold and empty apartment. Lise had switched off her phone and he had run out of words to tell her answer machine how sorry he was. It was probably a blessing that he had no spirits left in the house, instead resorting to taking his exhausted body to bed hoping sleep would come easily and clear his mind. A plan which was doomed to fail from the start. Fatigue allowed sleep to come quickly but it was restless and dominated by horrific nightmares. He was alone in a white desert of snow and ice, running desperately to her in the distance always out of his reach. A heavily pregnant Lise stood cold and shivering, stranded on an ice sheet, floating helplessly away from him. Her screams waking him in a cold sweat, heart pounding in his ears and panting so hard he felt physically faint. It was only 2 am and he was not going to sleep again. 

Heaving his weary body up to make a coffee. He may as well use this time productively and clear his head. Cradling his hot comforting cup he settled down at the table, taking out the sketches and plans for the cabin. His cabin by the water. He already knew where it was going to be, he just had to finalise the deal on the land. It was always his dream, never Catherine’s. Maybe now it was time to start this new life… if Lise could forgive him his stupidity. Thinking about her his fingers distractedly sketched at the drawings, changing the layout of his one-man batcheler pad to accommodate space for her and their child. Without any conscious thought his mind drifted to memories of holding Kelly when she was born and the overwhelming love he felt instantly, she had been the best thing to ever happen to him. Now with Lise he could have that again, and be a better dad, a better partner. The acknowledgment that he could do this finally overtaking the dark doubts. He desperately wanted Lise and their baby in his life no matter how fucking scary it felt. A comforting relief overwhelmed him, he already loved his unborn child as much as he loved the amazing strong woman who would make an incredible mother. 

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A renewed sense of urgency was a welcome distraction as he busied himself putting into action all the plans that he had cemented in his mind during the night. The first stop was a long conversation with Dyson. He had reached a life changing decision which he needed her agreement on. A huge weight lifted from his shoulders an hour later as he walked out into the icy air of the street. There was one more place he needed to go, driving out to put in an offer on the plot of land he was going to build their future on.  
It was late by the time he got home. Feeling optimistic after his days achievements he dialled her number one last time. Waiting anxiously, his heart pounding as it rang and rang and …

“Hello” her voice so cold and full of hurt, cutting into him like a knife and rendering his mouth dry. 

“Lise, I.. I’m so sorry I hurt you. Please let me try and explain. I .. I didn’t think I would ever be a dad again and I.. I didn’t know what to tell you, what you needed me to say.” There was a long pause and he could hear her breathing quietly as he tried to find the right words. His voice now husky and soft he rushed on before he ran out of steam. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you Lise… about our baby. I know what I want, I’m just terrible at all this. Will you meet me tomorrow, first thing so I can show you?” When there was no reply panic surged again, real emotion seeping into his tone making his voice wobble as tears wet his eyes. “Please Lise, please…. I love you.”

The urgency and love in his words had caught her off guard and the soft wonder in his voice when he had said ‘our baby’ had ended her ability to form sounds. Finally, she spoke in barely more than a whisper, “I love you too John. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your messages. I wasn’t trying to hurt you but I had a lot of thinking to do. Of course I will meet you.”


	14. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is very soppy and romantic and soft and fluffy. Just what you need to get through the middle of a week. Everything finally comes together for John and Lise in amongst the beautiful Ontario wilderness. (Google search Algonquin Provincial Park to see what I am trying to describe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had most of the idea for this and felt that I may as well finish the chapter and get some happy cheer published quicker than usual after all the angst and tension of the last. I think this is probably my favourite chapter and I hope you enjoy to read it as much as I enjoyed writing it - especially the sensitive happy John finally being able to come out.

Sitting in bed after speaking to Lise he was feeling warmer than he had in days. The comforting sensation having nothing to do with the temperature of the room and everything to do with the hope he felt that actually, for once in his miserable last few years, everything might just work out the way he wanted. Allowing himself to remember what happiness felt like. For him that meant Lise and the knowledge that she loved him, flaws and all. Poor Lise, he thought, a silent laugh causing his chest to vibrate, ‘so many flaws – she doesn’t know what she has let herself in for.’ Although deep down he was pretty sure she did know, and that was why he was so in love with her. Through everything she had always accepted that life had been harder than was fair on him and he wasn’t ever going to be a cake walk. Their relationship was built, from the very beginning, on mutual respect and acceptance. She had no aspirations to change him, although she already had, more than maybe she knew. Every day they had worked together her intelligence, humour and strength had seeped into the coldness inside of him, warming his soul from the inside out. Without ever realising it she had shown him how to fall in love again both with her and with himself. A flutter starting somewhere under his diaphragm danced up into his chest. He genuinely couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her. 

He had been absentmindedly fiddling with his ring as he thought about her, looking down at his finger as the gold flashed in the dim light of the bedside lamp. The simple band had become a part of him like a burr on a tree. For 30 years of his life it had sat on his finger, a marker of his commitment to a woman that was no longer here. Who was no longer the person who filled his every conscious thought. Almost without realising what he was doing he gently tugged at it, struggling a little to slide it up over the joints that had aged more than the metal. Holding his naked finger up to his face he couldn’t quite work out what he felt. But it was time… Catherine was gone and he was ready now, ready to move on with his life and be happy. 

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Waking at 6am he felt bright and refreshed. An excitement akin to a kid at Christmas urging him on. He had so much planned for today. First though he carefully took his gold wedding band from its resting place on the dresser and tucked it lovingly into a box in the cupboard, it would stay safe and never forgotten. 

When he pulled up at her apartment she was waiting on him. Wrapped up snuggly in a thick jacket, her golden hair tucked underneath a knitted headband and her cheeks glowing red from the biting morning air. Then she smiled at him and he forgot how to breathe. All he could do was reach out to pull her against him, almost afraid to let go. 

“I’ve missed you.” His smile beaming down at her as he spoke. “Before I tell you all the things I should have already said, I.. er.. I want to show you something. Is that ok with you Lise?”

“Mmhmm.” Was the only sound she could make, holding his strong gaze, as his warm hands slid down her back. Taking her cold fingers in his, they walked towards his truck. 

They didn’t speak as he drove them north up into the forest. It was a pleasant companionable quiet, without the awkwardness of many previous journeys they had shared confined to such close proximity. Being together felt right. 

Smiling shyly across the car at him, her inquisitive mind getting the better of her ability to simply enjoy the beautiful moment they were already sharing. “Where are we going John?”

Catching her infectious smile, he let his eyes glance away from the road for a split second to hold her gaze. “Nearly there Lise, gimme a few more minutes. I think it’ll be worth the wait.” The warmth still in his face, she watched him, as he concentrated again on the road ahead, sniffing in a breath through his nose whilst his Adam’s apple slid up and down his neck as he silently swallowed. That cute little nervous tick John had was one of the many little intricacies of his that made her heart melt. 

He stopped when they could go no further by road. Pulling over to park up against the dense forest. It was the very start of spring with snow still hugging the bases of the tall spruce and pine trees. The bright white providing a beautiful backdrop for the deep greens and vibrant blue sky. It was a stunning day, not a cloud in the sky and so peaceful that the only sound was the crunch of ice underfoot as John guided her down an overgrown path. As they walked the forest thickened around them, blocking out some of the light. It took about 5 minutes before the path opened back up again and then she saw the clearing and the most beautiful of views. Standing side by side they both absorbed the moment. The trees behind them hugged the patch of land before the shore like a green jumper. The ground underfoot dusted in the last of the winter snow, as it slanted slowly down to the water, thawed fully now and ice blue. The sound, as it lapped against the smooth pebbles, was calming and she felt herself close her eyes, inhaling the soft sweet smell of new growth as the trees around started to wake up to spring. 

“Do you like it Lise?” His gravelly words a welcome intrusion into her moment of tranquillity.

“It’s so beautiful John, si magnifique!” 

“I wanted to show you something else too.” Taking her hand again he led her to a large log that was dry enough to sit on and insulated from the cold of the snow. Fumbling into the pocket of his parka he pulled out a handful of paper. “I err I’ve bought this plot of land…” A little too anxious to look her in the eye just yet, he pulled off his gloves so he could show her what was on the paper in his hands. It was then that she noticed for the first time that he had taken off his wedding ring. The significance of the gesture causing her heart to catch in her throat as it raced against her chest. Seeing the direction of her gaze, he felt himself subconsciously cover his ring finger, rubbing over the slight callous on his skin where the metal had sat. “I just..I thought it was time Lise, there’s no pressure.” 

Holding her eyes with his he reached across, letting his hand gently rest over her lower abdomen for the first time since she had told him her news. Spreading his long fingers out so they encased the tiny new life growing inside her, a huge smile lighting up his face as he closed his eyes. “I love you Lise…I love both of you.” 

They were the most beautiful words she had ever heard. Gently cupping his face with her hands she reached across to kiss him, a slow deep kiss full of love which he returned in earnest. “Et on t’aime aussi. Tu es notre monde.” (And we love you too. You are our world)

They sat in silence for a long while, enjoying the view and each other, before John remembered he was going to show her the plans. “So I er.. I had a fair bit of time on my hands after I messed things up. And well I made some changes that I hope you like.” Unravelling his line drawing he pointed across to the patch of level ground just beyond the tree line. “I want to build our home there. There will be plenty of room and we could wake up to this view every day. I was thinking we could put in a little jetty too so we can take the boat out..” Realising he was maybe getting carried away he looked back at her, struggling to read what was going through her head as she looked down at his pencil marks. “If you want to that is. If you don’t we can.. I can always sell it back..” He could see now that she was crying. “I’m sorry. Do you hate the idea? We can move to the city if you prefer.. we can-” 

She cut him off before he could continue. “I don’t hate it John. I love it. So much.” Her fingers traced along the scribbles on the paper. “Especially this.” She let her index finger stop on the smaller room next to the master suite that his scrawled writing had labelled ‘nursery’. Snuggling against him she let herself get lost in his warm chest, enjoying the sound of his fast heartbeat as he pulled her tightly against his body. 

When they drew apart he tucked away the plans and reached out a hand again, slipping his fingers back around hers. Wandering along the shoreline she could tell something else was playing on his mind. “What is it John?” 

“I did a lot of soul searching when I thought I might have lost you from my life Lise. I realised I need to stop doing this job before it sucks all the life out of me again. You know what it does to me, I can’t turn it off or leave it in the office. I don’t want to be that person any more or to make the same mistakes I made with Kelly. This time I’m not going to be a part time father.” Picking up a stone, he fumbled it between his fingers before skimming it out along the flat still water. “It will give me time to get this place ready, hopefully with some help, in time for our little one.” Then he took her hand again, squeezing it in his fingers as he grinned. “Plus I might get the time to perfect my house husband routine – maybe even make better Chilli than a French Canadian..” 

The hissing noise she made in response was so sexy he couldn’t stop himself pulling her flush against him to devour her mouth hungrily. “You have no idea what you do to me Lise.” 

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It was such a fun morning in the wintry sunshine as he talked her through the cabin plans in more detail. She was really loving watching him walk around the patch of land, arms gesticulating details to her as his face danced with excitement. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him this happy and enthusiastic about something. It was the complete opposite to the way he spoke about his apartment, or the dark dogged detective she was used to spending time with in the midst of a difficult case. 

As they sat down again on the log, soaking up the view one last time before they had to head back to town, he pulled her gently back into him. “I know I’ve told you a hundred times already but I really am so sorry Lise, for causing you to worry that I didn’t want this with you and the baby. I promise you that I will never let you feel like that again. I will always be there for you.” He squeezed her tighter, kissing the top of her head as if emphasising the point. “It all just took me by surprise. I had never imagined having a family again or getting a second chance at being a dad. It took me a while to realise that it is probably the most amazing piece of information that I have ever been told. You might just need to bear with me sometimes and give me a push in the right direction…” 

“I know,” she whispered against his chest. The irony not lost on him that those same words signalled the start of this amazing journey back in Toronto. The thing with Lise was, that when it came to him – she always knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think maybe there will only be two more chapters in this story - which makes me a bit sad as it is a bit like my baby at the minute.....
> 
> But I might delay posting for a few days and work on a short other story that's playing in my mind, as an interlude, so it doesn't end too quickly for me.


	15. Cottonwool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So all this fluff had to lead to a little bit of smut. More in the next chapter but gentle careful cardinal is always a nice place to imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So all the warm and fuzzy feelings I had reading the latest update of 'By Night' prompted me to come back to this story for some soft sensitive moments. I hope you enjoy on a Sunday  
> especially ...

John didn’t make it any further than Lise’s apartment that night. They had stopped off on the journey home for him to show her some of his favourite places along the water. She loved the way he smiled as he spoke about the wilderness and how he promised to take her out on his boat when summer came. Time had somehow escaped them both and it was already getting dark when they drew back into town, popping into their favourite takeaway to pick up some dinner. Distracted by each other, they only realised how hungry they were when they arrived in Lise’s small kitchen, the smell of the curry reminding them they hadn’t eaten in nearly 10 hours. 

Satiated by the food, they found themselves sat in a contented silent until Lise spoke. “Do you remember the last time you brought me curry John?” Lise was smiling so warmly at him that every fibre in his being wanted to reach out and hold her. Making do for the time being with stretching out a clumsy long arm to capture her fingers, he smiled back.  
“I remember.” His voice was deep and wistful and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She was wearing a baggy jumper, joggers and thick furry sleep socks - maybe it was the hormones giving her a healthy glow combined with the knowledge that she was carrying his child, but she had never looked so beautiful to him. “I wanted to tell you that night how I felt. That I didn’t want you to leave me and go to Toronto. I really wanted to tell you that I was pretty certain I loved you.. but I probably would have chickened out, even if Josh hadn’t interrupted.”

“Things worked out in the end John.” There was genuine happiness in her expression as her fingers started to play along his palm, sending a rush of sensation up the length of his arm. “Do you want to come to bed?”

Lise couldn’t resist smiling again at the look on his face. They had declared their love for each other and made plans to spend the rest of their lives together, just hours earlier, yet the look of stunned surprise at the suggestion that she might want him to shag her senseless was still his go to reaction. It was going to take a lot of encouragement before he realised that she definitely wanted him and always would. Slowly standing she kept her grip on his hand, gently pulling him to his feet. Finally his eyebrows returned to their normal location on his face and he let out the barely audible but very John response- “yeah,” before letting himself be led through to her room. 

Like a statue he found himself standing rooted to the spot, in the dim light of her now familiar bedroom. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to rip her clothes off, because dear God he did! He was suddenly oddly worried about hurting her or the baby, even though his rational mind reasoned that their child couldn’t have been much bigger than a pea and you would never know to look at Lise that she was expecting. A flick had switched in his brain, after cradling her non-existent bump in his arms, that made him want to wrap her up in cotton wool from everything, even it seemed, despite his burning desire to the contrary – from himself. 

As usual Lise could read him like a book. Having already relieved herself of her socks and sweatpants she fixed his gaze before slowly sliding her sweater over her head. ‘Fuck’ his internal monologue rambled as his eyes lost all ability to stay on her face and slid down to her beautiful pale curves, ‘why wasn’t she wearing underwear.’ 

“Don’t you want me John?” Her voice was teasing, fully aware from the darkness in his eyes and the bulge in his pants that he desperately did. “I’m pregnant mon amour, not ill. Unless of course you plan on spending the next 7 months until the baby comes in the spare room….”

Unable to resist her outstretched hand he let himself be pulled willingly into her warm naked skin. More than happy to let her take the lead, he revelled in her lust filled gaze, as her delicate fingers unbuttoned his shirt, torturously slowly, as every skim of her wandering fingers against his eager flesh sent a surge of need to his aching hardness. His mind and body at slight odds as he wrestled his physical need with his keenness to be gentle. As her fingers slid along the full length of his erection, stroking him through the fabric of his jeans, he tried to distract himself with the warmth of her mouth. Gently sucking at her lower lip until she parted her mouth to allow him entry to the warm depths. Starting out with slow tender strokes of his tongue against her own, he let his fingers trace up the soft skin of her back until they tangled in her hair, allowing his hands to support her head and shift her angle so he could more easily deepen his invasion of her mouth. Her fingers had been equally busy, unfastening his belt and jeans and offering a helping hand to gravity, until they lay bunched around his ankles. As their tongues danced together Lise’s fingers found their target, wrapping around his hard shaft and sliding gently along the sensitive skin, the blissful friction causing him to gasp into her mouth as his hips reflexively bucked into her palm. Pulling back from his kiss, she watched his face as he swallowed hard, composing himself as he gazed deeply into her eyes with a look that shared equal parts love and wonder. 

Ever so gently, as though she were a precious cargo, he bent down to reach around and lift her softly onto the bed, shaking off the remnants of his jeans as he walked. Holding himself out of reach for long enough to regain some composure he trailed his hot moist mouth down the angle of her jaw, feeling the ferocity of her pounding heart under his lips as he kissed over her pulsing carotid. Reassured, in a way, that it wasn’t just him who felt so undone by the moment. 

He loved her perfectly formed breasts, nibbling gently down the soft curve until his lips sealed around a nipple. “Aie John” her words sounded like a plea to stop and he panicked, looking up into her face for guidance. “Don’t stop.” Was all she managed to breathe out as her hands tangled through his hair, guiding his keen mouth back to where she wanted. Slowly he ghosted his lips over her firm nipple, breathing a warm breath over the delicate skin before engulfing the bud in his hot mouth, swirling his tongue across the engorged flesh as she moaned delectably. You wouldn’t know to look at her body yet that she was pregnant, but the new sensitivity of her nipples was exciting him more than he thought possible. It wasn’t long before she nearly came undone, finally relinquishing her grip on his hair to urge him to enter her. By now he was so far gone that he needed very little encouragement, slowly easing into her hot warm depths before finding a gentle rocking rhythm that seemed to suit them both. Coming hard together, he whispered his love in hot breaths against the skin of her ear, in between spasming kisses and gasps as they collapsed together in contented satisfaction. She would never tire of hearing those words.

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Things fell into a comfortable routine. John rising early out of habit, he would let Lise sleep on until her alarm and have breakfast ready to share when she had showered. It was nice to spend quality time together before Lise went into the office and he drove out to the plot for the cabin. He had pretty much started straight away on turning his plans into reality, not wanting to waste any time, particularly given his new 7-month deadline. He had found a couple of local tradesmen but was pretty set on doing a lot of the work himself. Often Lise would be home first and her apartment would be full of delicious cooking smells when he arrived. 

It hadn’t taken long to reach the mutual decision, particularly since discovering it was now near impossible to sleep when they weren’t together, that spending nights apart was no longer something either wanted. He had pretty much moved in, giving up the tiny apartment he hated. 

They chatted to Kelly a couple of times a week, usually with comfortably full bellies after dinner on the sofa. They were all so relaxed together now that it seemed crazy to Lise how anxious she had been the first night they had called. She had protested to John that he should speak to his daughter alone about his retirement and their plans to move in together, but John had insisted that they do it together. The apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree - Kelly really should have been a detective, asking nonchalantly why they were in Lise’s apartment whilst knowing full well what was going on between them. It was obvious from her face how happy she was when they told her of John’s decision to retire. It was something she had been constantly pestering him about for a while now. Lise wasn’t completely sure how Kelly would take the idea of the two of them moving in together, especially into the cabin that John was always going to build for Catherine. So when it came to telling Kelly she had caved under her own insecurity and held onto John’s hand tightly, just out of view of the camera. The relief was palpable when Kelly spoke directly to her – “It’s about time dad told you that he loves you Lise, he’s been mad about you for such a long time. I’m so excited that he is finally building the cottage for you both. You can look after him for me now..” Both women laughed and John flushed, his heart bursting at the wisdom of his daughter. They had decided not to tell her yet about the baby, wanting to make sure that everything was ok at the first scan before speaking to her in person. It would be a lot to take on board, even for Kelly.


	16. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first look at baby Cardinal. I hope you enjoy some emotional fluffy love filled soppiness as much as I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I have had such a crazy covid-filled week at work I needed to decompress with some soppy emotional heart-warming fluff. Mainly because daddy John is just too cute.

John hadn’t been able to settle the night before the scan, instead lying in the darkness letting his mind and body be comforted by the soft sound of Lise breathing against his chest as he cradled her in his arms. He had been young and career driven when Catherine was pregnant and he deeply regretted that he had been embedded in a case and not able to attend the first scan for Kelly. This time round he was feeling overwhelmingly excited at being able to share this experience with Lise. It was now 12 weeks since Toronto and he was so familiar with her body that he could feel the small swell of her abdomen that signified evidence of the life they had created. It was his new favourite thing- to hug her from behind, pulling her back against his chest and letting his hands slip around to cradle the almost impalpable bump that only he knew was there. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting in the waiting room of the Obstetricians office he suddenly felt the need to hold Lise, reaching out his fingers to grasp her warm hand. He wasn’t embarrassed to admit that the gesture was doing more to calm the butterflies dancing in his chest than hers. 

“Lise Delorme?” a smiling woman in a white coat called through to the waiting area causing them both to anxiously jump up. “My name is Dr Findlay it’s good to meet you.” Looking over towards John she must have been able to read his uneasiness. “You must be dad? You don’t need to look so worried you are both in good hands. Come through with me. Lise if you jump up on the couch I’ll be right with you.” A surge of pride had risen up in John’s chest, replacing all the worry that was there previously. Nobody, except Dyson, knew that they were expecting and hearing someone else refer to him as his child’s father felt pretty incredible. 

Dr Findlay was professional and nice but to John, who was by now feeling overwhelmed, the whole process seemed quite matter of fact and quick as he struggled to keep his emotions in check at the black and white ultrasound images. “Congratulations both of you- everything looks good so far. This is your baby just here folks.” As she spoke she expanded the image on the screen and John squeezed Lise’s fingers tightly as they took in their perfect baby. Its head and body clearly visible as well as the four little limbs just apparent in the image. Pulling his gaze from the screen he looked down at Lise, the tears in his eyes reflected back at him in her own. As the doctor fiddled with the screen, taking measurements, he bent down to kiss her on the forehead whispering how much he loved her against her hair. 

Dr Findlay stopped what she was doing, smiling down at the touching moment in front of her. “I would say that you are exactly 12 weeks and baby is looking healthy. When you’re both ready you can wipe the jelly off with these and I’ll get you some of these lovely images printed out. We will book you back in 6 weeks for your next scan. If baby takes after dad then I expect those arms and legs will be a bit longer next time we see them.” Smiling the doctor left them alone for a couple of minutes. 

“It’s incredible to think that we made something so perfect John,” her words so full of emotion as she looked up into his face, watching the tears well up in his eyes again as he roughly swiped at them with a big hand.

“The perfection is all you Lise,” as he spoke he was beaming down at her with an expression brimming with love. “I erm.. well I think probably my contribution might be just their height.” 

Smiling at his usual self-deprecation Lise slid down from the bed, pulling him up from the chair and drawing his body in for a tight hug. “You will provide so much more than that John. I can't wait to see you be a dad again. Je t’aime beaucoup ma chérie.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John had tucked an ultrasound picture into his wallet beside the one he kept from when Kelly was a little girl. As he drove out to the cabin he found his mind drifting to his daughter and how quickly she had grown up. The though made him realise how much of a blessing it would be getting to experience the joy of doing it all again, with Lise by his side. They had planned a trip to see Kelly this weekend, to tell her about the new baby, and he was a little apprehensive about how she would take the news. He knew she was happy about his relationship with Lise but maybe the idea of becoming a big sister would be a step too far for her good will. He worried she would think him stupid and too old to be embarking on being a father again, a thought that perhaps was more a reflection of the self-doubt he had tried to bury rather than what his daughter would be thinking. She was so mature and sensible that she would probably take the news in her stride. Either way they would find out in a couple of days, soon it would be too hard for Lise to hide her pregnancy and he wanted to be sure that his daughter was the first person he told. 

It was early on Thursday afternoon and the office was quiet with little happening to keep the team occupied. Lise was already taking Friday off, to head down to Toronto with John, so she figured she could push her luck with Dyson and slip away a bit early. It was such a beautiful crisp day and she was feeling nosy about how the cabin was getting on. It had been three weeks since she had last been out to see it and at that point the foundations were already taking shape. John had been working with three young men from Algonquin bay and they had made quicker work than she had imagined possible for four people. She stopped off to pick up four coffee’s and a peppermint tea, before deciding as an afterthought that they might also be hungry and grabbing some pastries, more because she was craving sugar than for the men. Without any traffic it didn't take long to reach the spot where she had to park up. John had been busy clearing the path down from the road to the site of the cabin, and she was glad of the lack of obstacles as she wrestled along it with a bag full of hot coffee and cake. 

John wasn’t about when she arrived and she handed her bag of goodies to the very grateful labourers. They directed her around the bend of the tree line to where John had gone in search of a more sheltered spot to start work on a jetty and boathouse. Picking up his thick black filter coffee she congratulated the boys on their hard work, admiring the wooden frame that they had already started to erect on the now complete foundations. Somehow seeing the bones of the cabin made everything more real and her heart skipped a few beats in anticipation of this new happy chapter in her life. 

He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice the crunch of stone as she walked up behind him. His broad shoulders looked very handsome in a red and grey plaid shirt and she couldn’t resist slipping her free hand around his waist, causing him to tense in surprise and twist around to face her.  
“You boys have been busy," she smiled, "the cabin is looking amazing. I thought you might all fancy a warm drink.” Reaching up she stretched to kiss his lips, enjoying how possessively his arms now encircled her every time they embraced. He tasted salty, from the perspiration of hard work, as he keenly returned her kiss, only slowing at the sound of wolf whistles from behind her. 

“They are just jealous that I get to kiss you Lise,” he murmured seductively against her lips, a mischievous smile on his face. “Thanks for the coffee,” he finished- kissing her quickly again before relinquishing his hold on her hips so they could step apart. “What are you doing all the way out here?”  
“Dyson let me away early and I wanted to see the cabin.” Smiling up at his faux crestfallen expression, she let her hand slip up his warm chest, letting her voice soften to a whisper- “and to see you of course mon amour.” 

A glint of excitement flashed in his eyes at her flirtatious gesture. “Why don’t I let them finish early and I can show you what we have done - without the prying eyes. I’m pretty sure they all have the hots for you Lise, and I'm not sure I like them oggling my pregnant wi.. partner.” He flushed all the way to his ears, looking at the floor in embarrassment at almost calling Lise his wife. It had been a slip of the tongue, but only because being with her felt so right that his brain had momentarily forgotten how new this was for them both. One day soon he thought to himself, when he could finally bring his gaze back up to look at her face, he could call her that for real. 

Lagging behind she gave John some time to get over his embarrassment and talk shop with his work mates. She took a few deep breaths and a moment to take in the gorgeous view. The scenery had already changed so much in less than a month, as all the white snow and ice had melted, making way for lush greens and blues. The forest behind was no longer still and silent either, instead filled with the happy chatter of birds. She couldn’t think of a more idyllic place to bring up a family. The thought of him calling her his wife had rocked her a little. If she was honest with herself she was shocked that the idea of becoming his wife was so appealing. She had never really wanted that life, preferring her independence. But now she wanted it all- with John. Maybe it was the hormones, she tried to reassure herself, and not simply how hard she had fallen in love with this incredible man. 

“Lise,” his loud rumbling voice broke her out of her daydream and she headed back towards him. They walked around the inside of the cabin, hand in hand, looking for all the world like an excited young couple preparing to move into their first home together. In all honesty, the last few weeks with Lise had made him feel like a 30-year-old again and he felt like he was starting afresh. He had managed to finally expel the doubting demons and embrace the excitement of this new chapter he was about to start with the woman he loved. 

“Are you feeling ok about telling Kelly John?” She realised as she spoke out loud that she sounded more nervous than she had wanted to when she had phrased the question in her head.

He didn’t want to worry her with his earlier wobble, instead pulling her body back into his arms. “It will be ok Lise. She loves you and I think she will love the idea of getting to be a big sister. She didn’t get that growing up and I know she always wanted a younger sibling. I guess this isn’t what she had in mind but … she will make a great role model for our little one.” 

The sun was starting to set in the sky and it was getting cold when they finally pulled themselves away from the bones of their new home. Big smiles on both their faces- they would face whatever tomorrow and the rest of their lives threw at them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how a weekend in Toronto will go...


	17. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot? Who needs Plot!? -This is really just a bundle of fluff and smut. By now the story is pretty near to its natural conclusion and I hope a little bit of slow happy soppy nonsense fits the spot in this crazy world right now. Hope you enjoy.

They were awkwardly silent as the cab pulled up to Kelly’s apartment. Lise had never actually been inside and she found herself following a few steps behind John, feeling apprehensive and sheltering in his shadow. The minute Kelly greeted them, throwing her arms around Lise in a warm hug, her anxieties abated. John’s daughter had, with such a simple gesture, managed to make her feel she belonged and Lise immediately knew everything would be ok. Taking their coats Kelly tossed them breezily onto a spare chair in the hall, watching as John’s slid off the back and down onto the floor. 

“Go make yourself at home on the sofa. I’ll be right with you.”

Bending down to tuck her dad’s coat back on top of Lise’s she noticed his wallet had slipped free, lodging itself under the radiator. Reaching an arm carelessly to retrieve it, she skimmed the cards that had escaped, tucking them randomly back into the leather until her eyes stilled on a small blurry picture. A warm feeling settled in her stomach at her soft dad, automatically thinking that he still carried a baby scan picture of her in his wallet after all this time. Smiling she turned it in her hand to tuck it carefully back into his wallet when her eyes froze on the printed date and name: Baby Delorme – 22.04.20. ‘Wow Dad!’ Her voice high pitched and screechy within her head, she wanted to shout it out loud, feeling her heart racing faster at what incredible news this was! This was going to be a weekend of revelations. 

Walking into her small lounge area Kelly couldn’t stop herself smiling warmly at the sight of her dad, legs folded ungainly on her tiny sofa, with a protective arm wrapped around the woman he so clearly loved. She suddenly felt guilty at being party to a secret they had not yet shared and wasn’t quite sure what to say to them. 

“Anyone fancy a cup of tea before dinner? I thought I would cook rather than head out, you both must be tired from your journey.”  
“That would be lovely.” Lise stood to help and Kelly watched her dad stand along with her, letting his hand curl around her hip until his fingers gently played across Lise’s abdomen. He had a look on his face that Kelly didn’t recognise, it was tender and wistful as he sneaked a glancing smile across at his partner, and Kelly saw then in her dad’s familiar eyes that it was pride.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They all mucked in preparing dinner. Kelly had got up early to buy fresh salmon from the market that they seared simply with lemon and butter, filling the kitchen with wonderful citrussy aromas. It didn’t take long, with three eager pairs of hands, and soon they were all crowded around Kelly’s small table. 

“This is so tasty Kel. When did you get so good at being an adult?” John spoke in jest but he was mightily impressed at how much his daughter had grown up in the last year, a tinge of sadness twisting in his gut at how proud Catherine would have been of their daughter. 

Laughing quietly, Kelly’s gaze flickered between her dad and Lise, lifting his slightly sombre thoughts. 

“I certainly didn’t get it from you dad. It’s Just as well Lise puts up with you or you would be living on cereal and coffee for the rest of your life.” 

Although she was teasing him, the words rung true. Lise was the best thing that could have happened to her dad, her love and support had revitalised him and he looked better than he had in years. His skin had lost the chalky pallor that caused her so much worry and the dark circles that were indicative of his lack of sleep had vanished. When he smiled happiness reached his eyes again, for the first time in years, and his life weathered face had filled back out making him look more like the man she remembered as a child. 

“You look so happy and well dad. I love seeing you like this..... You are so good for him Lise.”

There was genuine warmth and love in the way that she spoke, which, combined with the newly surging hormones that Lise was only just getting to grips with, caused her eyes to well up with irrational tears. It felt nice to hear from John’s daughter that she approved of what they shared. 

“I.., well we, have something we need to tell you Kel.” John spoke for both of them, his hand gripping Lise’s fingers tightly just out of view. “It erm wasn’t something that we planned and you know that things with us well.. they have never been what you might call conventional. I honestly didn’t think I would ever get to experience this again so I totally understand if you are shocked or confused but I’m overwhelmingly happy and I hope you are too because well...you will have a very important role as a big sister in a few months.”

He had rushed through more words that he had heard himself speak in a long time, the adrenaline and nerves running his mouth. Now that he had so abruptly finished he felt like he had skidded into a wall, feeling his heart pounding hard against his chest as he held his breath, waiting silently for the shock to hit his daughters face. A shock that never came. 

When his initial anxiety settled a puzzled expression tugged at his eyebrows before realisation gradually took over- how was his daughter always at least one step ahead of him?

“How did you know Kel?”

Flushing a little Kelly felt a bit embarrassed at ruining their big reveal.  
“I erm I saw the ultrasound accidentally when I dropped your jacket and well you aren’t very subtle dad – you cant keep your eyes or your hands off Lise’s stomach!” 

Lise felt herself going red too, suddenly very glad- for the second time in less than a couple of hours, to feel Kelly’s enthusiastic embrace. 

“Congratulations Lise. You are going to be an incredible mum!” 

Letting her go, Kelly turned to John before snuggling into his big chest. “It’s taken you long enough… I must have been what 10? When I told you that I wanted to be a big sister. Just as well you aren’t a big fan of sleep dad!” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

It took a long time to finally prise themselves away from Kelly who had become a bubbling fountain of enthusiasm and questions. When they did eventually make their excuses to leave John was suddenly coy and tight-lipped about what he had planned. 

“I wanted to surprise you Lise.” 

The pieces only just fitting together in her head as the cab pulled up to the hotel they had stayed in 12 weeks ago, the hotel where their incredible story had finally started in earnest. When they reached the room that she remembered so well he stopped, key-card in hand, an excited grin twitching at his lips through his scruffy beard.

“I only booked us the one room tonight. I hope that’s not too presumptive detective?” 

The look in his dancing eyes, as he smiled down at her, made her stomach do a summersault as her brain filled with very delicious memories from the last time they had stood in this very spot. 

“I will always remember this room Lise. You took my breath away that night and you haven’t stopped ever since. I…”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as her soft lips pressed lovingly against his, distracting him skilfully whilst she silently slid the card from him to open the door. Her hands had found their own way down his back, skimming around his waste. She playfully tucked her fingers through the belt loops of his pants and guided him through the door, letting it slam back behind them. In the darkness the shared memories and renewed excitement filled the room like a thick overpowering fog. 

“I have goosebumps John.” She murmured against his ear, her accent thick and breathy. 

She wasn’t the only one, he thought silently, almost growling as he instinctively pulled her flush against his hot body. Her comforting and familiar smell filling his nose, he let himself get lost in the moment, fully aware of how lucky he was. Everything about Lise drove him crazy. On a primal level she excited and thrilled him – igniting a deep burning desire that he had only ever felt in her arms. The scariest of all though, and what he was only just about letting himself come to terms with, was how deeply she understood and reassured him. Lise had unwittingly become his everything and he loved her more than he could ever express in words. 

The sensation of him pressing tender nibbling kisses along the line of her jaw, his prickly whiskers tickling against her acutely sensitive flesh, was so arousing. The power this man had over her was as terrifying as it was irresistible. 

“John..” His name came out so softly that it was a sigh more than a word, which he quickly muffled with his hot and eager mouth. Their kisses had evolved throughout their blossoming relationship, fluctuating with need and desire but always familiar, as though their lips had spent a lifetime searching and then finally finding the perfect match. 

He was feeling particularly playful tonight, letting his teeth graze sharply along her swollen bottom lip before pulling it forcefully into his hot mouth with just enough pressure to make her gasp into his warm breath. His tongue taking that moment to caress her own, soothing the tender skin and enjoying her sweet taste as he urgently explored the now familiar smooth contours of her mouth. Determined that he wasn’t going to have all the fun Lise buried her fingers in his thick hair, leaning into his erection until she felt him unconsciously pressing himself back against her waist with a groan of need. 

The heady rush of their last union in this room was a million miles away from what Lise had planned for tonight. Determined that he would feel how much he meant to her she deliberately slowed his rushing lips, pulling back enough to cause his eyes to jolt open so that his hunger and longing burned back at her under heavy long lashes. 

“Tu es l'amour de ma vie.”

Even without much of a grasp of French, the meaning of her words was clear and it made his heart thump in his throat, the air between them awash with emotion and desire. The feeling of her slow careful fingers, gradually unbuttoning his shirt, was a gentle torture that was making his erection throb with need. Then she skimmed her hands over his hardness, deliberately pressing into him as she unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor with his boxers. He could be patient he hoped, savouring the sensation of her nails grazing his skin and swallowing hard- for as long as his desperately eager body would allow. 

Sliding her thin top over her shoulders, his eyes took in his now favourite view. The burning desire pulsing in his veins mixing with a deep overwhelming love as he let his fingertips trail tenderly along the subtle new swell of her breasts and abdomen. Suppressing the complaints from his tired joints, he sunk down to his knees so that his face was level with her belly button. Cupping her stomach gently in his big hands he let his thumbs trace small circles against her warm skin, his lips ghosting down the trail of fine hairs from her navel. 

“I love you Lise.. I love how your body is changing and how you feel against me. You are so beautiful.” His rumbling words floated into her overwhelmed brain as his fingers skilfully popped open her jeans before skimming under the waistband of her panties, sliding the material free from her hips so that his mouth could taste the damp curls between her legs. Unable to stop her own fingers tangling back into his soft hair, Lise urged him forwards, as his smooth hot tongue skimmed her delicate skin. 

She tasted so intoxicating that he was struggling to maintain his focus, letting his tongue circle and suckle on her nub, he had to steady her bucking hips with his hands, sliding his fingers around to paw at the toned smooth skin of her ass until he could feel her come undone against his mouth. 

Taking her still trembling body in his arms he lifted her to the bed, siting down on the edge and lowering her into his lap so that he could kiss her again. They had started making love with her on top with greater frequency since the first time he had accidentally discovered how sensitive and responsive her nipples had become. The noises she made in response to his attentions on her pert little pink orbs made him unbearably hard and, now that he was slightly more in control of his body's urges, he absolutely revelled in teasing her through multiple orgasms along the way to his own release. 

As they collapsed against each other his strong arms pulled her into his hot wet chest and they held each other tightly until their rapid breathing settled. A warm calm settled over him, content in the knowledge that he wasn’t going to be waking up alone tonight, or for that matter ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So doctoring in the covid world is not fun, but out-with that, spending some time on these dark nights in a happy little cardilorme bubble is a nice bit of r&r-hence this chapter of soppy loved up escapism.
> 
> There is only one more chapter left here and probably a little one shot 'Christmassy🎁' addition that I have floating around in my head for when the time comes. The last chapter is pretty much written and a total ball of sickly sweet overload - so the complete opposite of the skilfully written angsty stories that I am loving reading at the moment - but sometimes a bit of happiness is what is needed.  
> Hope you guys continue to enjoy


	19. You can start a new one…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think the best summary for this is.... and they lived happily ever after 🥰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit later than I planned mainly because I have been on-call and super busy but also because I wanted to make sure that it was a fitting ending to this story. I think it is and I hope you do too- I don't think I could have made it any fluffier if I tried and that is definitely what I need at the minute, and I am sure I am not alone. 
> 
> Think of this as a warm weekend hug to all you lovely people x

It was late summer, still warm enough to sit comfortably outside during the day but with a chill just starting to prickle the air as soon as the sun began to set. This was their third full year in the cabin and Lise hadn’t tired of how the view could change on a monthly basis with the seasons and the shifting northerly winds. It was maybe her favourite time of year right now. The leaves were just starting to darken and the days shortening enough that they could light the fire. On these long evenings she could snuggle into her favourite spot under John’s arm on the sofa, enjoying some precious time together when their little boy was tucked up in bed and silence once again descended on their happy home. 

Tonight was one of those lovely relaxing evenings and they sat exhausted but contented, curled in each other’s arms with John’s long fingers tracing lazy circles against her lower back, the crackle of the fire the only sound. It had been a busy few days in the Cardinal household. John had been winterproofing the cabin for another year and they had been getting the place ready for Kelly coming to visit at the weekend. Olivier was overexcited, old enough now to just about understand that his favourite person would be coming to see him, so it had taken longer than normal to settle him enough to fall asleep. John had made them dinner, as he so often did these days, and now they were comfortably full and themselves dancing that fine line between consciousness and sleep. 

A tired John found himself gazing down at Lise, unable to pull his eyes away from his partner and her raw and serene beauty. Her soft body, relaxed and at complete peace, fitting so perfectly against his own, was taking his breath away. His battle-hardened heart totally and unconditionally belonged to this incredible woman and a now familiar warmth settled within his chest at how happy this made him.  
Lise, even after all this time as partners and lovers, blew his mind every single day. She was so overwhelmingly beautiful, no more so than in this moment, with the warm glow from the fire illuminating her face and accentuating the golden highlights in her soft, sun-kissed hair. The sprinkling of adorable freckles against her creamy skin still made his heart race too fast and hot blood to rush southwards with pure, unadulterated lust. 

Lise must have felt his probing hungry gaze as her heavy-lidded eyes flickered open to look lovingly up at him. Dipping his head to hers he let his lips gently brush against her moist warm mouth, sleepily showing her how much he loved and appreciated her.  
Lise treasured John’s drowsy kisses which were so gentle, skilful and full of complete and utter love. The friction of his tickling soft beard against her cheek feeling both gloriously exciting and comfortingly familiar whilst she let his tongue slowly play against her own at a sleepy, seductive pace. There was no urgency from either for more, both happy to simply savour the wonderful sensation of slowly getting lost in each other.

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Kelly had arrived late morning the following day, quickly slotting into the house as though she spent every weekend with them. The honest truth was that she was so busy these days with study and work that it was a rare treat to be able to spend some time with her family. In particular, with her little brother, who was growing so quickly that even in the month since she had last been able to visit, he had already changed so much. 

They had set up the table out on the decking and John’s new toy- the fire pit, was already lit, partly for warmth and partly to keep the bugs at bay. Tiring quickly, John had insisted Lise take a seat on the cushioned bench whilst he finished up, which she gratefully agreed to. It gave a great vantage point down to the pebbled shore of the lake where Kelly was dutifully playing by the water with a very over excited toddler. Even with the noise of the wind in the trees it was impossible not to hear the happy shrieks coming from Olivier as he chased his big sister, his tongue not yet quite able to wrap itself around her name so that the air was pierced with his enthusiastic attempts- “Elly ekky EKKKKY,” as he raced after his older sister as quickly as his comparatively little legs could carry him.  
So lost in the moment she didn’t notice John gently settling down beside her, until his warm arm wrapped around her shoulder to pull her in close.

“Well I think you make pretty amazing humans John Cardinal.” Her voice came out in a wistful tone, the smile on her face audible. 

“I’m not sure I can take all the credit.” His words getting lost in her hair as his lips buried a kiss in her neck. He could have spent all afternoon snuggled up like this, warmed by her body and watching, as though in a movie, his now perfect life play out. The buzz of the kitchen timer slowly bringing him back to the matter at hand and he had to reluctantly relinquished his hold on Lise to get the oven.

“Kelly, Olly…. Food is ready.” His voice rumbled down towards his daughter who waved her acknowledgement before letting herself get caught by her chasing little brother who happily took his big sisters’ hand to walk back up to the house.

John scooped his son up into his arms, eliciting another fit of excited giggles as he swung him up above his head before settling back down beside Lise with Olivier in his lap. She would never tire of seeing him like this, the doting relaxed dad, a million miles away from the broken man she first met all those years ago. His hair had greyed a fair bit in the last 3 years, probably not helped by the sleepless nights, but there was no mistaking who their little boy took after. His scruffy hair, dark and unruly like his dads, stood at all angles. John often told her how pleased he was that he had inherited her dimples and cute freckles but she didn’t mind in the slightest that the rest was all him. It was moments like this, when they were side by side smiling up at her that Lise all too often became overwhelmed with love. Olly had his father’s eyes. Those same expressive orbs that she had fallen in love with so many years ago, eyes that shone hazel-green and blue depending on how the sunlight hit and danced with mischief when the mood took them.

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The fresh air had made everyone hungry and they enjoyed hearty portions of roast chicken with rosemary potatoes. When it came to it nobody had space for dessert, except that is, for one little man who eagerly tucked into his long-awaited ice cream. By the time they had finished eating they got so distracted, catching up on all of Kelly’s adventures in the big city, that nobody noticed how late it had gotten. Lise had suggested John and Kelly take a walk, staying behind to put a cranky overtired little boy to bed and to allow John and his daughter some quality time together. 

It was still a lovely clear night and Kelly had convinced him to take a longer route along the shore, her arm locked around his, stealing his heat as the bite of the late evening air nipped at them. 

“Is it how you imagined it dad? Finally getting your cabin by the water?”

“I erm..” He was caught a bit off guard by the probing question, not quite sure what she was asking him. There was a long stuttering pause, even by John standards, as his mind went on a wander through some painful memories. 

When he had first talked about the cabin it was always his dream, a dream that he had pushed on city loving Catherine in the hope that somehow it would fix all of the breaks in their marriage, like a bandage in the guise of a fresh start. Then, before it could become anything more than a pipedream, his whole world had fallen apart and he had wallowed in his own self-loathing for so long that by the time he realised that he was tumbling into a dark hopeless chasm of loneliness it was almost too late. When he had regained the confidence to step back outside his own four walls there was a long time when his only salvation, the only hope he felt, was found in the small bundle of ‘French-Canadian’ joy that shared his desk and his car and for the longest time before he could admit to it- his heart. She had healed his body and his soul that night in Toronto. He had loved her unconditionally; from the moment he had found out he was going to be a father again, to the first time he held their tiny perfect son and everything that had come since. It still felt as though he was permanently on a rollercoaster with Lise, a near impossible rush of heightened emotion, excitement and overwhelming hope and he never wanted to get off.

So, the honest answer to Kelly’s question was ‘no!’ – no it was nothing like what he imagined it would be. Before Lise he had never even considered feeling like this, so calm and at peace with the demons. Demons which he knew would never leave him, but which had quietened to the point that they were easily drowned out by the knowledge that he had finally found his place in the world and his person.

Of course, he didn’t tell Kelly any of that, instead stopping to pull his daughter tighter against his ribcage, smiling down at her so that she could read in his face what he couldn’t say out loud. 

“I’ve been given another chance at life Kel and I’m happier than I can remember feeling in a long time.” 

Accepting, that from her dad, that was a pretty impressive revelation she followed him as they walked back. The shimmering water; brightly illuminated by the pale moonlight as it danced along the surface of the lake, rather symbolically guiding a path in the darkness back to the glowing warmth of the cabin, visible just beyond the shadowy trees, where Lise and Olivier were waiting on them.

Just before they reached the steps and in the full knowledge that she would get no answer from her tight-lipped father, Kelly was unable to resist asking the question which had been on the tip of her tongue since she first held Olivier in her arms.

“So dad, when are you going to ask her to be your wife?”

Luckily for him the darkness hid the flush that raced up his neck at the question and his daughter was far enough behind to not to detect the subtle catch of his breath, as his heart suddenly raced faster against his throat. Lise would become his wife, he had always known that, it just…it always took him longer than he would like to find the words to express what he wanted. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lise was already in bed when he had brushed his teeth and changed out of his clothes. His presence rousing her enough to place sleepy kisses along the cool skin of his chest as her face snuggled into his fine hairs. They shared a long luxurious period of tender tasting and teasing of lips on naked tingling flesh, before finally drifting off into a peaceful sleep in each other’s arms. 

“Daaaaaddyyy’’ – the cry over the monitor waking him from his comfortable position, pressed warmly against the woman he loved. 

“He definitely said your name,” came the sleepy French twang from the pillow beside him. 

Cardinal was unable to suppress a slight smile at her words whilst his body creaked in protest at having to give up his warm spot. 

Lise, still half-asleep lay smiling, picturing the sight she could hear unfolding over the baby monitor. 

“Shhhh little guy,” his rumbling sleep-soaked voice soothed softly as he lifted his son into his big arms. “What’s wrong?”

There was no answer from a tired Olivier who was already comforted by the feel of John’s warm chest as he held him against his bare skin, his fingers carefully caressing his son’s soft hair until his breathing settled back to sleep. Silently hoping that he hadn’t passed his tendency to nightmares to his son he gently unattached his little floppy limbs from around his neck, tucking him back into the small police car shaped bed before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

“I love you my beautiful boy. Sleep well…no more bad dreams, your mummy needs to rest.” 

Placing one final tender kiss into Olly’s hair John crept back to bed, leaving the door slightly ajar to let in a little comforting light. 

Slipping back into the still warm sheets he pressed his now cool body snuggly against Lise, unashamedly stealing some of her heat whilst keenly cradling her stomach.

“Bonjour mon amour…” her words barely audible. “Should I be jealous? Who are you cuddling John?”

“Hmm?” There was love and laughter in his sleepy voice, his big hand gently splaying over her swollen belly as his lips kissed against her warm neck. “I love you….both of you..” he murmured as he drifted in and out of the beginnings of sleep, tracing his fingers against the baby girl so close to being ready to meet them. 

Kelly’s earlier words about marrying Lise were still fresh in his mind as his sleep heavy brain filled with the memory of a walk in Toronto four years ago, in what now truly felt a lifetime ago. He had been wallowing self destructively in his miserable life when Lise had glanced hopefully at him, a soft smile warming the face he already loved more than he could bear. He could still hear the words she had spoken like it was yesterday - “but you can start a new one”. He couldn’t look her in the eye in that moment, too afraid of his emotions overspilling if he acknowledged what he hoped she was suggesting or worse still that he had misinterpreted her meaning and what he so keenly wanted might have crumbled around him.

Never in his wildest dreams did he truly believe that he would be happy again and able to have that new life with the person who had stollen his heart.

“Thank you Lise….for everything you have given me.” His sleepy hot breath tickling the curve of her neck as he pressed his hungry body closer into her warm soft curves. “Je t'aime.”

“Mmm John.” Her voice no more than a contented sigh as her body started to awaken again at his hardness pressing against her, whilst her heart melted at his words. “Je t’aimerai toujours.”

-C’est tout-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo because I can't resist these two and their happy ending and because I definitely want to write a wee bit about John and his baby girl *all the feels* there is an update of this story that I will put out over Christmas as it will have a festive twist. 
> 
> Thank you for all the kind comments along the way. I have very much enjoyed this story and my first foray into writing.


	20. Will you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is definitely very little in the way of story in this chapter but it is the promised snuggly, warm and fuzzy Christmas update that is a little later than planned but with an extra dash of soppiness - Happy belated Cardinal Christmas 🎅🎁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think even I have outdone myself with ridiculous sweetness but I feel it was needed and I hope you all enjoy soft daddy John as much as me and my overactive hormones seem to!

It was the coldest December Ontario had experienced in years with persistent heavy blizzards and wailing icy winds blustering through the surrounding forest. The long dark days had been the perfect opportunity for them to bond as a newly grown family of four and it had been idyllic. John had loved having them all to himself, particularly without the constant interference of Lise’s mother. They missed Kelly though. A combination of her schedule and the weather had meant that for the first time John’s eldest daughter was spending the holidays in Toronto. 

Time truly had flown by in a blur of busy days and tiring sleepless nights. Before they knew it, Christmas eve was upon them and John had battled through the snow into town to collect the food they needed as well as the last of Santa’s special deliveries. Lise was quite happy to stay snuggled up in the warmth of the cosy cabin, her hands full enough with their six-week-old daughter and their very bouncy little boy. Olly had proved, during the long snowy days confined indoors by the weather, that whilst for all the world he was a perfect miniature copy of his papa he had inherited a lot more of Lise’s overeager impatience than John’s quiet tolerance. Now that it was Christmas eve, their son could barely contain his excitement at the prospect of Father Christmas’s visit. 

*****

It was less of a chore than normal getting his boy to agree to bed, the promise that Santa only comes when little kids are soundly asleep having him almost tugging John towards his room. 

“Haven’t you forgotten something little guy? What about Santa and Rudolph? Wont they be hungry and thirsty bringing all those presents for you and your sister?”

The look of wonder on their son’s face made Lise’s heart melt as he and his papa set up a plate on the mantlepiece with cookies and a rather generous serving of ‘daddy’s favourite’ whisky alongside a few carrots for the reindeer.

*****

Lise had just finished feeding Émilie when John returned, barely stifling a yawn as he reached his long arms towards the ceiling, scrunching his face up as he stretched out his tired back. 

“I’ll quickly put her down to sleep John.” 

Cardinal’s face swiftly softened, padding over towards the sofa before reaching down and scooping his sleeping daughter gently up so that he could cradle her against his cheek, supporting her tiny head safely in the palm of his hand.

“Gimme a couple of minutes, I haven’t had any daddy cuddles yet today.”

His voice rumbled quietly, like smooth molten honey, as he rocked their daughter softly in his arms by the glow of the fire. 

Watching on, with a warm smile on her face, Lise thought back to when Olivier was that small and delicate. Back then they had both been more than a little nervous and unsure of themselves as partners and parents. To look at John now you would never have known he had ever been an anxious second time father. He had grown into his role with their son and somehow their daughter had turned him into a gentle ball of complete mush. Daddy Cardinal was a million miles from the terrifying detective he once was. Lise almost couldn’t remember that broken man, that life, not when he seemed so suited to being a full-time papa. Now big, scary, detective Cardinal was a man of cuddles and laughter. Yesterday he had been ‘Captain black beard’ of the ‘good ship Cardinal,’ sailing the high carpet seas with a bedsheet mainsail under the watchful eye of first mate Olivier.

Lise was so proud of the man he had become; the man he was once terrified he couldn’t be. 

For all the boisterous adventures he and Olly shared, tiny Émilie had made him gentler than she ever thought possible. He had been by Lise’s side throughout the delivery, holding her hand tightly and offering all the support he could. From the moment he had been able to hold his daughter against his chest, minutes after she had been born, Lise knew from the look of pure love in his eyes that she would always come second in his heart and she was fine with that. Her big strong giant of a man was completely smitten by the tiny pink bundle in his arms. 

Lise didn’t think she would ever tire of watching him with their daughter, certain that she had never loved him so much, his face so soft and full of love as he soothed her with rumbling whispered words of wonder. Émilie was going to be a daddy’s girl, always so quiet and settled when he held her. Lise didn’t blame their little girl one bit, knowing only too well how safe it felt to be sheltered in his warm strong arms. 

*****

It was after ten when John came back through to the fire, after finally laying Émilie down in her cot. Slipping up behind Lise he wrapped his arms snuggly around her hips, caressing the skin over her post pregnancy abdomen with his long warm fingers. He knew that she felt self-conscious at losing her toned physique and he loved to frequently remind her how much of a fan he was of all of her new curves, once again whispering just how much against her ear as he nuzzled into her neck.

“Do you think Santa can drink his whisky before he finishes the wrapping?”

John had all of his irresistible charm dancing in his eyes as he spoke, knowing full well that she wouldn’t say no to him.

“I didn’t really get to do this when Kel was little. Catherine always organised everything because I was always at work. It’s almost as fun as Christmas morning, setting their presents up under the tree with you Lise. I love being here and getting to be a proper family. I can’t wait to see Olivier’s face this year; he is so excited. When did he get so big? Give him a couple of years and he’ll be looking down at me!” 

His smile was big and beaming and Lise couldn’t resist pulling him in for a slow, heartfelt kiss. John tasted sweet and smoky, his enthusiastic tongue still tingling with the remnants of fiery whisky.

“I love you John Cardinal.” She breathed into his mouth, letting herself get easily lifted to her feet as John wrapped his arm around her waist and led the way to their cosy big bed. 

*****

It couldn’t have been light yet when Olly jumped excitedly into bed with them and it was time for Christmas to begin.

Santa had indeed been, much to their son’s very audible joy. She had dressed him in a Christmassy pair of red tartan pyjamas just like his daddy’s sleep pants and as John knelt under the tree with him, they looked almost identical, right down to their sleep mussed unruly hair. 

Whilst Lise cradled a sleeping Émilie they set about unwrapping the gifts. They had written a list together at the start of the month and posted it up the chimney to the north pole. Without going too over the top, they had endeavoured to get him most of what he wanted, especially as this was the first Christmas he was grown up enough to ask for what he wanted. There was one special gift that wouldn’t quite fit under the tree which John had saved until last. It had been a bit of a labour of love in Santa’s workshop over the last few months, slipping away late in the evening to get it ready when everyone had gone to bed. The effort had been worth it though when Olly unwrapped it and beamed from ear to ear at his hand-crafted rocking horse. His big boy unable to contain the urge to climb onto the saddle, even before all the wrapping paper was free. 

“Papa, Papa a horsey!” He squealed in delight at the rocking motion and Lise relished the pride she could see written all over Johns face.

They managed to squeeze in a video call to Kelly before lunch and she happily listened and watched as Olly excitedly showed her all his new toys. 

“Happy Cwismas Kelly!” Olivier beamed as they said their goodbye’s, blowing a big kiss at her. Lise couldn’t resist running her fingers lovingly through his thick black hair, her heart filled with happiness at how much he loved his big sister. 

*****

With Émilie already soundly asleep in her bouncer they settled down, Olly curling up sleepily against Lise’s chest as the tired three sat down to enjoy a Christmas movie. 

“There is one special gift for maman isn’t there Olly? Do you want your present from Santa Lise?”

Laughing at the two excited boys sat either side of her, Lise nodded happily. 

Olly sleepily waddled to the tree and brought over the tiny little box that had been patiently waiting all day to be opened.

Lise let Olivier help her unwrap the gift to reveal a carved wooden case with delicate silver inlays.

“Do you mind if I do this bit?”

John spoke softly. He looked very nervous all of a sudden, carefully taking the box from her fingers.

Then he kneeled in front of her, on bended knee and Lise forgot to breathe. Losing herself in John’s face, she could see fear for the first time in years. The hopeful green-blue sparkle that she loved was so prominent against their hazel depths as his eyes fixed on hers, as they had done all those years ago outside her hotel room, the same self-doubt and longing pooling in them. When he spoke, his voice was so deep and rumbling that she could physically feel the emotion in his words as they resonated through her heart.

“You have given me the most beautiful children and more happiness than I ever thought possible Lise. I love you more than I can tell you with words. I want you to be mine forever. Lise Delorme veux-tu m'épouser?”

“Oui John, yes yes yes! Je suis déjà à toi, my darling.”

Pulling his future wife into his arms John kissed her hungrily, only stopping at the sound of Olly’s giggles. Scooping their son up too he hugged them both tightly, kissing him on the forehead before turning back to Lise. Holding her gaze he let himself get lost again in the irresistible depths of the big brown eyes he couldn’t live without. Gently placing a chaste final kiss to her lips and with their beaming boy still in his arms he stepped back just enough to slide the ring onto her finger.

It was beautiful, perfectly crafted and delicate. A plain thin gold band with a very expensive looking oval solitaire diamond. 

“C'est magnifique John. I love it. I love you!” 

*****

They hadn’t made love since before Émilie was born. Six weeks seemed a long time for both of them but John was more than patient and they had been so exhausted that cuddles seemed much more appealing. That was until the man standing in front of her had asked her to marry him, with the help of his little helper. Lise's hormones were now driving her wild with need. 

After all the excitement of the day and with their two little ones safely sound asleep, there was an expectant silence surrounding them as they closed the door to their bedroom. 

“Come here John.”

The tone of her voice made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck as his blood churned violently in his chest. 

Lise’s heart was also pounding fast, loving John’s look of hungry anticipation as he stuttered towards her, his dark pupils so dilated with desire that his stare was almost pitch black. 

“Are you sure?” He mumbled into her hot kisses as her fingers slipped under the waistband of his pants, rubbing over the hard arousal he couldn’t suppress.

“Oui, très sûr mon amour.”

John could feel his breathing rasping in his throat as her fingers touched him, he had been so busy in the last few months that he didn’t think he had missed sex that much. Now though, in the grip of desire, his eager body felt very differently, his throbbing skin set alight by the caresses of the woman he loved. 

“Give me one minute.” He about gasped out the words between burning breaths, “I’m not sure I am up to three kids under five Lise, are you?”

The recent memory of barefooted, pyjama wearing, ‘daddy John,’ snuggling with their daughter sent a surge of maternal hormones pulsing through Lise as he raided the bedside drawers for a leftover condom. 

“I could be persuaded” she teased, “but I’m happy with us putting in a little practice first.”

They were soon naked and under the blankets, quickly remembering the exciting feeling of losing themselves in each other. John was anxious about not hurting her and took his time making sure she was ready, slowly and carefully dusting her skin with loving kisses, focussing his hot lips on her stomach before lazily sliding lower, tickling his beard deliberately over her pubic bone before burying his head between her thighs. The smell and taste of her arousal making him painfully hard as he let his hungry tongue slide between her folds. 

By the time he had worked his way up to her clit, Lise was on fire, her hips writhing against him as his strong arms slid around her thighs, holding her steady and increasing the access his urgent tongue had as it swirled torturously around where she needed to feel him. Lise’s senses were quickly becoming overwhelmed by the feel of his rough beard rubbing against her sensitive skin as his hot mouth sucked against her, his tongue continuing the heavy pressure against her throbbing nub until she came undone against his mouth. 

When she came down enough to regain the power of thought she urged him back up the bed, tasting her arousal on his lips as she kissed him urgently. After fumbling for the briefest of moments for protection he had rolled above her, his strong forearms supporting all his weight as he hovered carefully, holding himself still as his eager arousal pressed into her thigh. For all his burning need, he was waiting on her still and his sensitivity only made Lise love this beautiful man all the more. 

“It’s OK John, please.” Her hand confirmed her words as she guided him between her legs, gasping as he slowly pressed back into her. The familiar warmth spreading through her groin, at the feel of his hard heat filling her, quickly overtook any lingering anxiety and it wasn’t long before her hips were instinctively arching up to meet each urgent thrust, her nails digging keenly into his back. 

The feel of her fingers scraping into his skin filled him with confidence and his initial hesitancy changed to white hot need. The slow careful thrusts of his hips shortening and stuttering as he fell quickly towards ecstatic oblivion. It took every ounce of his concentration to shake the sex filled haze blurring his vision for long enough to look at her face. Willing her to see the desire and love burning in his eyes. It didn't take long however, for his steely focus to be overtaken by the incredible sensation building up in his groin and he let himself bury his face in the curve of her neck, his teeth biting down against her shoulder as her muscles contracted around him and they fell apart together in familiar ecstasy. 

*****

As they lay together damp and satiated, from everything the day had given them, Lise found herself pressing even tighter to his hot body, enjoying how his tired arms still instinctively tightened their protective grip around her back. 

“Mmhm I love you Lise.” His voice was gruff and sleepy but she could hear the smile on his face.

Burying himself deeper into the warm comfort of her neck he murmured his last words so quietly, as he tumbled towards sleep, that Lise almost missed them...

… “I love you Lise Cardinal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a wedding update coming I'm just not sure if it will be in this story or in Mr and Mrs Cardinal????


End file.
